I, too, have been reading your posts, and you might be borderline depressed, but the timing is right. With great loss we go through cycles of depression that can be as intense as clinical depression without having the actual chemical imbalance.
Please don't misunderstand me...but until you can count on yourself for the anchoring and grounding that your mom gave you will not be open and ready to start a healthy relationship with a significant other. We can only be dependant on our partners for 50% of the support we need to live life. The other 50% we need to be able to supply to them, because god forbid they become unable to sustain us and need to find support elsewhere.
It's only been a short while. Give yourself time to build a firmer foundation for yourself. That's where I believe a therapists might help. They can show you ways to cope and begin rebuilding your life after a devastating loss.
You have my total support and understanding. I wish I could reach through the lines and give you a solid hug. Your in my prayers.
Tiffany
Behind every cloud of smoke is a rainbow to be found.
