Alright...
When my partner and me did a civil union at the happiest time of our lives, we have to repeat the words about being together in happiness and sickness until we die..(at that time there was no sickness at all...)
At that moment saying these words I felt weird but i thought with the power of love everything is possible, even in the hard times we will still keep going on, together.
So we met, we love each other and you are expecting from me to say that we live happily ever after like a fairy tale...
I have to refer about the dark times in our relationship which probably is a common thing...
There are been times that I imagine of killing him or fill my suitcase and disappear forever far away from him...He must felt that or know about this...
Sometimes I felt he was responsible for the misery or the bad hard periods in our lives...
Now, with the clear mind , i can say i am not perfect, Sometimes i told him (as a joke) he can replace me with somebody else more clever, capable and healthy... like a new car...
There are responsibilities in a marriage , isn't it?
I will tell you when it hurts me and make feel guilty...
When I am lying at the sofa or bed , unable to move because of the pain and watch him COMING TIRED FROM WORK, CLEANING , COOKING , TRYING TO PAY ALL THE BILLS WITH HIS MONEY BECAUSE I AM NOT ABLE TO WORK ALL THE TIME AND PAID SO MUCH MONEY LIKE HE IS, watching him GETTING exhausted AND AT THE SAME TIME HE HAS TO TAKE CARE OF ME...
he is a human being ,,, he has his limits ,,, he is not a machine...
after we had our dinner , he left the dirty dishes at the sink.
I wished to have the power to get up and wash the dishes... but i couldn't . Who is supposed to do that?...
other times it was the opposite ...When he was very sick at times and i was healthy , my time was full and i was waiting the time to finish everything, take care of him and go to bed to have a rest. I would mind doing that , but sometimes i dint have the time or the strength to keep going, i reach my limits too.
Life is not fair, sucks...
But anyway...
In dark times we are thinking only the negative things. Sometimes way say nasty words to each other which is hard to forget...
But there always will be happy times or the big clouds will go away, then we realize how lucky we are having each other and how much we love each other... But life seems like a constant fight..
Do you think winning the lotto will solve everything?
What is life about?
being healthy and rich, having the perfect partner and family, living in the best country, having the best job, house and car?
Sounds unreal?
I am telling myself ... SHUT UP AND KEEP GOING!!!
Its just i don't want somebody else to suffer because of me..
But we both we prove that we love each other in our hard times, take care each other, and stick together...
I am wishing our life to be more simple and easier for us in the future,,,
