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Posted By: stevec Question? - 01/30/17 12:55 AM
There is a lovely lady named Cristina somewhere amongst the many many ASKickers here. She would ask a weekly question and her questions and the many wonderful answers they elicited often provided me with their own source of medicine.

I always found solace and perspective in the thoughtful replies.

So many folks coping with AS around the globe who could feel justified in surrendering always impressed me with their enormous dignity, courage and more than anything else concern for others here.

Recently on multiple occasions total strangers placed in positions to observe me interact with others have approached me to tell me for no particular reason how much they appreciated how I dealt with folks. On one occasion an individual who I thought to be rather contentious and uncaring surprised me and took time to tell me how I was an example he pointed out to others dealing with adversity.

My spine is very fused and bent. None of these people were likely to have approached me if I was battling cancer or some less visible ailment or if my AS wasn't as noticeable.

Yet there they were,total strangers taking their time to share a kindness.

So my question is

Has your AS ever opened a good window into your life?

I note, I have contempt for my AS and think small victories as those above are mine, yet AS is part of me and sometimes acknowledging a positive avenue made available helps me cope and grow.

Thank you for any replies. Even if to say that I am crazy and all things associated with AS are the bane of your existence
Posted By: Anonymous Re: Question? - 01/30/17 02:15 PM
O.K. so obviously if I had a choice I would choose not to have A.S.
But some of the better things in my life came about directly due to my having A.S. I have over the year met some very lovely, interesting and intelligent people in Rheumatology clinics. I would never have met my wife of over 40 years if it was not for my having A.S. I gave up work at the age of 33 due to my A.S. As things turned out I became a househusband one of the best things that I ever did. This enabled me to play a much more involved part in bringing up our two children. I am now 70 years old and have had A.S. for over 55 years. As with most things re. getting older my A.S. is getting no better but what the hell we have to play the cards we are dealt and get on with life. No doubt A.S. has changed the way I look at life. Some of it for the better some for the worse who can tell certainly not me.
Posted By: ineptwill Re: Question? - 01/30/17 07:22 PM
Hello Steve, the odd Englishman here....


Think we had a very big post on a similar question some years ago, seem to remember your saying that given the chance you would be rid of AS 'in a heartbeat'. Mig and I waxed lyrical about how lucky I am a propos the surgery and how peculiar her hair is!!!

I suppose well held views and perceptions change over time. I enjoyed a euphoric few years post-surgery and during the writing it all down bit. So in a way I was grateful for it then. Now, I am older, AS has returned with spite and venom and like you, a heartbeat would be too slow to be rid of this thing. On balance though I have been lucky in my outcomes and fortunate because of AS to meet here some lovely people. Special Mig of course, Snow-shoe, Wendy and your rather kindly, intelligent generous spirited self, (those triplets must be ancient by now). Thank you for this question, it has given me pause.

How goes the soccer coaching?
Posted By: Orch Re: Question? - 01/30/17 08:28 PM
The one good thing that came from my diagnosis is that I try not to put off doing things. My thought is I may not be able to do this later so I have to do it now.

AS may stop me from running later in life so I had better run now.

I applied that theory not only to running, skiing, scuba diving, sky diving, vacations etc...

The first thing I did after getting an MS diagnosis was buy new skis. I thought I had better get my skiing in while I still can.
Posted By: DragonSlayer Re: Question? - 01/31/17 07:59 AM
Hello, Steve--

Regret that AS is my raison d'etre; I had to learn that it is AS continually reminding me of my karma from a distant time. That makes the answer easy: "Why me?" was answered; AS was mine to overcome and I did, if very late (slow learner).

HEALTH,
John
Posted By: stevec Re: Question? - 01/31/17 11:54 PM
I too am sure that my AS impressed upon me the importance of being very involved with my daughters.

I never thought someone would say that AS was the impetus for them finding a spouse.

Very nice to read that. I think we've had folks here new to AS fear that AS would impede them from ever getting married

Thanks Frederick
Posted By: mulehound Re: Question? - 02/01/17 01:34 AM
I stepped into a new career and was open about my disease. A good friend dying of cancer turned my life around. Then I found this place, the people here are never far from my thoughts. I may lose the battle someday, but as Steve says I am doing all I can do now.
ETTE.
Darrel.
Posted By: WendyR Re: Question? - 02/01/17 02:03 AM
Dear Inept Alan, I know you like to appear incorrigible but you are really rather a sweetheart!
Posted By: WendyR Re: Question? - 02/01/17 02:09 AM
I am trying to find something positive that came out of my RA. The best thing is that it is, for now, in drug-induced remission. Getting two replacement hips came out of it as well but, as they haven't given me any special bionic powers, I'm not sure they are a bonus either.

Possibly the best thing is I have a better understanding of how much pain I am capable of dealing with and yet carrying on (that British stiff upper lip stuff) so I'm actually less afraid of pain of pain than I was. I'm also very good at managing pain meds as necessary and tapering off them successfully. So I'm also not afraid of opioids either. Although those are weird things to see as successes, I realize they have freed me up to face getting older without worrying about how I will cope.
Posted By: ineptwill Re: Question? - 02/01/17 11:46 AM
Incorri...... Incorrrig..........................dirigible. who you calling a dirigible...x
Posted By: stevec Re: Question? - 02/03/17 07:00 PM
Hello odd Englishman. I don't recall all I should and thus probably pilfered previous post. My wee brain synapses spend much time taking sin-naps. I suspect somewhere in that void that is my cranium I appreciated a considerate answer or two so I asked again

I suspect like you indicate my assessment of AS'S impact on my life is cyclical and dependent on how my present circumstances are. Presently, I am reflective and this place always seems to give me a bit of inspiration and a chuckle or two

I always try to remain positive, in the best tradition of that hackneyed lemons into lemonade gibberish, but despite an aversion to lemonade it seems to leave me smiling more often than grumbling

As for my once wee trio of lovely ladies they are now 15. Soccer has evolved into lacrosse and cross country running. I coach the lacrosse only because I take odd delight in folks seeing my unique frame bouncing about the sidelines and barking instruction to a remarkable bunch of fit young ladies and maybe because I am wise enough to know that being involved with a fine group of young athletes is great medicine

AS wins a little each year, hopefully I win back a bit more
Posted By: stevec Re: Question? - 02/03/17 07:04 PM
Orch

I often come here for inspiration or to renew my waning determination. You always provide me with both

When I think... Maybe I can't.... I read your posts and hopefully try... Maybe I can


Thank you for that
Posted By: stevec Re: Question? - 02/03/17 07:21 PM
John

If I come here for inspiration I also come here for information and edification. I am unfortunately medically under informed and less traveled about the world than you.


So if you are a slow learner,Iamatortiose
Posted By: mig Re: Question? - 02/04/17 06:18 PM
Hi Steve,

How lovely that complete strangers have gone out of their way to say how much they admire how you deal with folks. While your AS is visible, and may have contributed to why they spoke up, I suspect that if you never had AS, folks would still find you to be an inspiration and that the way you deal with folks would still be compassionate and admirable.

Has my AS ever opened a good window? Yes, I do think it has ... the most obvious being that I've met and made some dear friends in here. Another good window - while I like to think that I was and would have been a compassionate and sympathetic sort regardless of AS, it brings to mind a man I saw on a train years ago. He was very young, probably in his late teens, and I noticed his eyes as the train would stop at each station and start up again. He was standing (crowded train with no seats left) and despite a brave face, his eyes betrayed pain. Then I noticed the discrete black cane tucked next to his leg. With my eyes, I offered him my seat, and without a word, he thanked me and accepted.

So a person in pain offering a seat to another in pain, on a crowded train in the morning rush hour. (There is a song in there somewhere.) I like to think that as a group, we've all experienced similar moments, countless times. We are in a sort of brotherhood.

And, Alan is in here with us ...!!! grin2
Posted By: mig Re: Question? - 02/04/17 06:24 PM
shocked2

Ok, since I happen to be having a particularly bad hair day today, I'm giving you this one, Alan...! tongue3
Posted By: ineptwill Re: Question? - 02/05/17 09:17 AM
just today!!!!
Posted By: mig Re: Question? - 02/08/17 01:24 PM
Oy!!

laugh2 Goodness, you make me laugh!
Posted By: ineptwill Re: Question? - 02/09/17 01:00 PM
not like your hair makes me laugh......I especially like the bangs!!!
Posted By: Inanna Re: Question? - 02/13/17 01:44 PM
Steve, I remember Miss Cristina's questions. How lovely of you to get this going again.

AS made me get over my fear. I was afraid to excel, afraid not to excel. Fear stopped me from pursuing my dreams. AS gave me a bigger fear - fear that I would not be able to pursue my dreams, that my dreams would be stripped from me. The day I made the decision that AS was not going to steal my dreams was the best day of my life. As a singer and performer, if I cannot breathe, I can do neither of my passions. So, I changed my lifestyle and became determined to keep doing things I love. I find ways around any limitations and strive every day for what I want. Fear no longer controls me. And if it rears its ugly head, I take a deep breath, push fear to one side and go for it anyway. AS will not steal my passions.

That diagnosis was the best thing that ever happened to me. Sixteen years later, and after the past five years of recovering from another blow that some of you old-timers may recall, I am living the life I want to live, with my sweetheart. We have built a new life and this year, I am recording my first album.

AS be damned is a given, but it was the only thing that could have stripped my psyche of my lifelong fear of standing out and excelling.

Now, Steve, we need updated photos of the girls!!! 15!!!! Good grief, it's nuts how time goes.

Love,
Posted By: Sue22 Re: Question? - 02/15/17 02:27 PM
Hate to be the grumpy one, but can't figure out anything good that has come of the spondy. Could be that my neck has been in a bit of a flare for a month now and that has made me a bit cranky. So for me, I still answer like I did last time, I'd be just fine if I had never had this lovely conglomeration of symptoms to deal with.

But also glad for the heartwarming stories of lessons learned by others. Perhaps in time I will see it differently. But for now, I only see it as the beast to be battled.

I remember reading that Teddy Pendergrass who was a paraplegic after a car accident thought others like him should learn to be more accepting of their "condition" and I remember Christopher Reeves who fought to his dying day to find a cure. So two great people with two very different world views and approaches. To me, neither is right nor wrong. We all have our own ways of dealing with stuff....so whatever works....and gets us through life.

Happy Wednesday all cool
Posted By: Smed Re: Question? - 02/17/17 02:02 PM
Looking down I do find a lot of change.
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