Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Did something I swore I'd never do.

Hey Steve,

I'm really glad you posted this!! The first time I had to use a cane I was 21 and it took a lot for me to reach that point. I felt defeated and like I had lost the battle. Luckily, I only have to use it when I am having a really bad flare and since the Remicade I haven't had to use it at all. But I vividly remember how suddenly everyone was interested in the fact that I was sick and all the stares from people on the street and the comments of "you are too young to have a cane!". It was horrible.

Although my history with canes is not nearly as horrific as yours, I do remember growing up watching my grandfather with AS completely reliant on his canes. When I was first diagnosed as a teen I was so afraid of those [**BLEEP**] canes. Obviously, as I've gotten older and the disease has progressed I've come to understand and rely on my grandfather greatly.

Whew, that was long. Basically what I'm saying (in my super longwinded way!! ) is that if your body needs it, then good for you for being able to overcome your past and use it. At the end of the day, quality of life outweighs everything else.

Ashley

I got my first cane when I was 25. I was very upset by the idea, but still holding on to the concept of employment, so something had to give. My husband bought me a silver walking stick with an ornate ball-shaped top, which doubled as the handle of a hidden sword. He said that if I had to use one, I should use one with style, and that if anybody didn't like it I could always show them the business end of it.

I used that one for a while just when I absolutely had to, but eventually had to buy the good old fashioned kind for when my hands hurt (the ball is pretty, but not always the most comfortable grip), or for boarding airplanes (getting tackled by security is theoretically bad for the spine).

I also have a placard, and like others already said, if you aren't feeling badly, you don't have to use it. The police won't ticket you for not parking in a handicapped spot. But there have been times when it has been a God-send, let me tell you.

As far as people treating you nicely, I suppose like anything else, that depends on the people and the situation. I have had some people hold doors open or stop to let me pass before. I've also been cut off or run over (once by a woman driving one of those motorized walmart carts), had small kids run smack into me or kick my cane out from under me (saw them coming, no harm-no foul), had Christmas shoppers pass me by with dirty looks as I stood with my cane with my hood up and my car broken down in a handicapped spot in the snow waiting for help, and had an elderly woman stop me in the parking lot of a hospital to exclaim, "My God, what happened to YOU?!", and proceed to argue with me about whether or not I was old enough to have arthritis. To be honest, I was treated with more courtesy and consideration when I was pregnant, but I wouldn't advise that as a method to receive better treatment.

In the end, I'd rather walk a little more comfortably, than trudge slowly through excruciating pain, so I use a cane. I figure I've met whatever invisible pain requirement might exist for the placard, so when I need it, I use it. And what anybody else thinks about it, I don't care (in front of anybody anyway).

Of course, now that the baby is here, I use the stroller as a walker, and play normal for the strangers. Maybe you could take up baby-walking for a hobby?

Steve;

I had to do that at 19. My sympathies. That's the worst feeling.

The good news;

I got over it!!

HI Steve
I use a crutch all the time because of my bum knee, but it helps my AS too.
I used a cane some times before, always in public pleases. People are far less likely to bump into you. Many a family trip was cut short because of being bumped into in stores ect. By far the best results were when I had a cane in one hand and my golden retriever in the other. It was like the parting of the waves as I walked through any were. Also you get treated far gentler at airport customs ect.
My Rummy said I should not use one as once I did I would not be able to stop.(BULL!)
It relieved tension and anxiety about going out in public and for me those are the killers.
Bi for now, walk tall
Hugh

Yes- i`m using a `walking stick` now. my dad makes them as a hobby and he gave me a nice walnut one, bless him.
Felt a bit self concious at first but it does help.
I find it very useful to scatter peasants from my front doorstep on the way to the library.

Steve,

I have used a cane for several years now and it has given me a new freedom that I didn't have before. I can walk pretty well anywhere now, ah, no, mountain climbing is forbidden and Dorrit provides extra help when I am walking on ice.

So, use it guy. I have several canes but only one that I cannot legally use as it is regarded as an illegal weapon but is fun to show to people if they visit me.

And Steve, re your other post about your Dad and his use of his cane to grab you and pull you back for more punishment. Think about it a bit more. It wasn't the cane that treated you so badly, it was your Dad. Lay the blame where it should go to. Start using all your canes whenever you wish and if ever we do meet at a KA Party, I will show you my cane and what I carry in it and I do blame my grandfather for that as he showed me his cane. But I blamed him in a nice way.

So, use your cane you wish to use Steve, they weren't the ones who decided to whach you with themselves.

George

Hugh, I could'nt agree more, people give you more space and respect when they see a cane. Also it let's them know that you have a handicap and not just bad posture. I too have been bumped in the past resulting in a day full of spasms and pain. The dog sounds like a good idea too.

Thanks,
Steve

Thanks George, I would love to see that illegal cane of yours. I'm guessing it's one like I saw in a James Bond movie years ago. I hope you never have to use it though.

Later,
Steve

Chelle, you've had some pretty wild experiences there, it's no wonder your hubby got you a sword-cane. Now you've got me interested...I wonder if I can find one here in Toronto? Then Old George and I could have a sword fight at the next Kickas meet.

Later,
Steve

count me in the Cane Club, hated to get one but had to, it felt like I was finally admitting I was disabled, but I got over it, sometimes if I think I may run into people I know I wont take it.....weird huh? The thing I really fear is having to use a Motor Buggy when I shop, I dont know if I will ever give in and drive around Wallmart.