Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group The Big Shrub

We have a big shrub. This shrub is my monster. This shrub is the shrub I look at in anger,sometimes shaking my fist at or threatining it with the electric trimmer. I hate this thing I should cut it down.

I have often contemplated taking a saw to this massive growth but my threats have really been idle ones. The big shrub will be able to stay, our eternal struggle will always end in a stalemate, no winner, no loser. The green wall is about 50 feet long and 8 ft high, it resides right between my driveway and the neighbor's property. I swear it is 6ft thick on the far end of it. The advantage is obviously the privacy factor, the disadvantage is that it needs to be trimmed. The other advantage is it is home to about 40 to 60 loudly chirping wrens. On a sunny morning you can hear them chirping away, making as much noise as they can. Usually the louder and more frantc they chirp, the warmer it's going to be. I don't have to turn on the weather channel to know what kind of day it is going to be, I just have to walk out my backdoor.
The day of trimming is usually not the first day that was chosen for it. It has been planned and put off a number of times already. I have to go up and down a ladder, moving it about a foot at a time to hack at this thing. The whole job consists of trimming, clean up and a trip to the drop off area that our city provides. I have never timed how long it takes from start to finish but it seems to take a little longer each year. I don't think I am getting any slower, it must be I am getting more paticular with my work.

The Big Trim Day begins with little fan fare other than a few groans and a few cuss words. With every thing ready to go my mood changes from one of apprehension and anxiety to one of eagerness and determination. I am going to beat this thing.

I am ready at one end of the big shrub with my trimmer in one hand and my one eye looking at the finish line at the other end.At one point I have to stop and get everything out of the way so my wife can get the car out of the driveway. The look of disgust on my face as she drives by me is only fake but will lead to some interesting conversation when she returns. My neighbors stop at the end of the driveway to tell me they are walking to the gym, I smile and wonder if they see the irony in all this. I wanted to show them my new workout ladder and my new forearm builder called a trimmer with an extendable arm. My work out session will cost nothing in the monetary sense but I always pay phisically. I think this is going to be a very long day.

The trimming was almost done when my daughter, Layla and her boyfriend Jesse walked up the driveway, they saw me working near "the finish line" and parked the car on the street. As she walked up she said the 3 sweetest words in the world,"can we help?", at this point I was not going to let pride get in the way of some unexpected free help, I said yes before they could change their mind. The branches are too long to be raked so they have to be picked up by hand and put in a waste container. All that bending down is part of the workout I have real trouble with but the 2 kids seem to make it look effortless. They had it done in no time. The neighbors came back home and took the trimmings to the drop off center. I was delighted. No one knew what a difference they made helping me out. I was hurting but not that bad.

The next morning I walk out my backdoor to go to work and I can hear the mad chirping in the beautifully new trimmed shrub. I get my keys out for my truck and say to myself,"Today is going to be a wonderful day".

Wow Jeffery what a win win...YEA for you!

You showed that bush a thing or two, you have a daughter that actually cares, and you finished the job, BRAVO!

I had one of those once, it grew too tall and looked at me the wrong way one day and I killed it, and buried it in the dumpster..lol all that was left was a little stump and that wasn't good enough I doused it with gasoline and set it on fire, so that the tree from hades could never return to torture me again..lol

Awesome story....glad it is over. Have a beer, put your feet up and let the kids have some Dr. Pepper. You can probably see the birds now....just follow the chirping.

Way to go Jeffery! Wow..I thought I was alone when I give the "look down" to my front yard shrubs...as Gianna says...Mommas thinking "Feeling lucky? Punk?" ROFL! Matter of fact I just had it out with my 2 shrubs this afternoon! I dont use a trimmer...I have some medium shears I like. Call me sick. LOL. But because my hands are so stiff and rigid it works easier for me. God only knows what destruction I would cause with an electric trimmer! lol.

Art does them for me when I ask but I like to trim them and with the medium shears I go back twice and round them out just right. It's not near as big as yours though. Art planted a new beautiful cotton candy Crepe Myrtle 2 days ago so had to take 1/2 of one shrub down. Ours are about 15 feet long and about 6 1/2 feet high. But this past winter froze so many plants I had to start all over. So I am moving things around.

I was quite pleased with my work. I'll hit it again tomorrow because I want to lop off a few more inches...but not sure if my shoulders will cooperate..they hurt pretty bad right now..

Glad u got some help! We planted a peach tree and got plenty of peaches already, a blueberry bush, orange esperanzas, hibiscus, rivets...and the yellow bells are growing full now and blooming.
As painful as it is...once the work is done... I feel so good...a big accomplishment in my book! Kudos to you my friend!!
your pal buggy

sounds like none of the birdies were harmed and you just spruced up their home a little

Jeffery what a story. I was right there with you. You know the hardest thing, as we progress with this desease, is admitting that we maybe can't do what we did last year, when we emerge from winter to our summer jobs. I have always loved doing all the work outside but find the frustration every spring at how many of those jobs I've had to pass on. Sounds like you are a perfectionist like myself and can't bring yourself to let someone else do certain jobs for fear they won't be done to you satisfaction, am I right? Or the admitting you "can't" physically handle the jobs you've done for years? Look at how much better you felt when the kids showed up and helped. Maybe it's time to hand that job off to someone else. All my life I never let anyone do anything in my gardens, of course no one could do it like me, ha, but time changes that and we need to admit some defeat though not give up completely. Make any sence? I have some beautiful new additions to my gardens this year that I wouldn't be enjoying now if I hadn't let my hubby help with them. If you know you will be suffering after, then you know it's time to hand the job to someone else. The hard part is admitting it.

Cindy

Jeff - you are the MAN!

Hi Jeffery,

Great post. You made me grin for a while, as your post reminded me of the neighbors shrub from the house I used to live in.

At first, I thought you didn't like the shrub because of all of the chirping birds, so I was going to reply with the advice of buying at toy rubber snake, but then a moment later I realized it was because of the size.

Congrats on a job well done.
Take care,
James

Hey Jeffrey,

Loved the post... felt I was there watching in person... but I would have helped if I was there in person

Thanks,

Tim

Hi Jeffery.. that was a nice read - you're a good writer! Good job AS kickin' your monster shrub into submission of it's yearly haircut.

Mine is an ongoing wisteria war (3 x's/summer). It's plotting to ruin my neighbours eves-trough and I am determined not to let it.

Glad you made it to the winner's circle!