Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group my mother is dying

Hi Jan, I'm so sorry that you're going through this, I know how hard it is, you, your Mother and your family are in my heart and prayers...big hugs and much love, my friend...

Oh Jan,

I lost my mum 13 years ago to bowel cancer when I had a 3 yo and an almost 1 yo. (Dad died from lung cancer when I was in my final year of high school, so mum did some of my *tough* years single handed!) How much I have missed her as a friend, sounding board and mentor! She was a wonderful grandmother to my older brother and sister's kids who lived closer and I'm saddened that my own kids didn't know her well.

I know how you must be feeling - it is hard to even start to repay the debt of gratitude we have for our mothers if they have become one of our friends as adults...

Spend as much time as you can with your mum, and remember to include your DD in her life, even though it is sad to see - she will process grandma's changing state in her own way, and it will help her to understand that the bond kids have with their mums never stops.

No matter how old we are we still always need our mums, so my heart goes out to you.

I'm so sorry, Jan. Prayers all around.

Jan,
Have you called hospice?
Can you somehow get her to your home?
Did she have a church where some caring people can help?

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

agape'
Lon

Hello Jan,

Very sad to read your post. Many prayers to you and family for comfort and strength.

My father passed away 2 years ago at 66 of complications from pancreatic cancer.. they caught it very early, but he got infection and never recovered from that.

Like you I went back home for couple of months through this process.. stayed with mom nearly a month after he passed away.

Best to you and many hugs,
Tim

hospice was very good when my mother-in-law and then father-in-law needed them, a few years apart. i highly recommend them.

Sorry to read this, Jan. May all your family have peace as you go through this. I second the hospice suggestions. They can help with things that allow you to spend more time with your mom and less time doing 'stuff.' And 'time' can never recouped. Hugs to you.

I always feel so inadequate as it seems what I feel in my heart is often difficult to release. I know your mom appreciates every minute you are with her. She knows, too, how difficult it will be for both of you to release each other. While this final step is being taken alone, part of your spirits will always continue communicating with each others in thoughts and in prayers. In laughter and in tears.

My prayers and thoughts are for both of you and your families in this time of grief and of need.

Jan, I'm so sorry to hear this. You are such a good friend to your mom and I think she knows that. She and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm sending white light and love for all I'm worth.

Love and hugs,

Thank you all so much for the caring and kind words. I appreciate your empathy so, so much. Each one of you who wrote, your words touched me so much that I wish I had time to write each one of you a note to thank you and respond. I'm so sorry for your losses: many of you reflected on the losses of your parents or some one close to you. My heart goes out to you and thank you for sharing this with me. Regarding Hospice, thank you, yes, we are connected with a Palliative Care Team, which will become Hospice when needed. I so wish I could have my mom out where I live to stay with me, but she is all connected to her doctors and so on, and comfortable at home. I have help, too, with other family members there, and I'm not on my own caring for her. I just want to stay strong and able to pull my weight in helping her. Thank you again, so much.