Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group I feel rejected

No replys from my pm's and my best friend wants nothing to do with me. The friends I have rarely call, and my family is there, but unsuportive. I feel like I did before I found this site. Alone, frustrated, and unsure.

AS is a pain in the neck

Sorry y'all, Just feeling sorry for myself

AS is a pain in the neck

Hi Lenny

I'm not sure that I've met you yet.WELCOME!!!!!!!!!
I know it is hurtfull when we feel ignored. I don't think there are many if any folks here who would deliberatly do that to you. It's just slow sometimes - don't worry about it.

Chin up . Stick around and keep posting.ok ?

Maggie

Hi Lenny,

Welcome to Kickas, don't ever feel ignored.

As Maggie stated, sometimes the site is a bit slow. I do not think anyone would deliberately ignore your PM's. Feel free to PM me if you need.

I was diagnosed the same time you were (1995), but I was only 27. I have some fusion in both hips... but now the back pain and right hip pain starting to set in more now that can not follow No Starch Diet or azulfadine (liver). Sleeping is very interesting.

Keep coming back for support Lenny.

Take care,

Tim

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional

Hi Lenny,
What a sad post I am sorry to hear about the way you are feeling. Unfortunately we've all been there and we know it's not a fun feeling at all. But that's what we're here for. People at KA truly understand when it feels like you're all alone in the world with no one around who has a clue of what it feels like. I know a computer doesn't quite make up for what you feel you've lost right now, but inside are a lot of great people who care.
In time things usually get better where family and friends are concerned. Alot of them do come around. Maybe not all of them, but those who don't were never truly your friends to begin with and it's best to learn this sooner or later, although alot of us wish it was later instead of sooner. I've lost alot of friends since I got sick and it doesn't help that I live out in the boonies, which makes it extra hard for people to come around, but those who do care do make it once in awhile, even though at first they didn't and I was alone for awhile.
One good thing that came out of it is I've learned to make new friends and in time you will do the same, even if right now it seems like you're just stuck with us, but I have to say that some of the people I've met here are some of the greatest people I have met in my life and I am not just saying that.
Don't know if you've done this yet and if you haven't I hope it's something you choose to do soon, because it's really important. That's be honest with your family and friends about how you're feeling. I may be wrong, but some of them may not understand because you haven't told them. I'm not talking suttle hints. I mean really explained to them what is in your heart and mind. Call them up, write them a letter or do whatever it takes...at least then you know they know and can take it from there. And like I said, if then they choose not to be around then you're better off without them, as hard as I know that may be to understand and accept right now.
I've heard people say before... "I try hard to hide how I am feeling so I don't look like a whiner or complainer" and then they will say "they just don't understand". Don't know about you but I haven't met a lot of mind readers in my life and many people just aren't very good at taking hints. I realized I was even doing this myself in the beginning, but once I started being honest with everyone and stop leaving them guessing...things changed alot.
I may not even be on the right track here as far as your circumstances, but to me you sound pretty frustrated and alone and if there is anything I can say that can possibly help, then I hope you don't mind me saying it.
Keep your chin up ok and please feel free to PM or email me if you ever want to talk. I promise I'll reply.
Hugs,
Lisa

Lenny!
I hear you, I feel guilty for not replying to everyone here at KickAS every day, but I can't always do it....just remember that even though someone may not reply to you immediately, that does not mean they are not thinking about you....family, friends, etc., just know that when you put your word out, people know, and read, but it may take some people longer than others to answer you...some days I'm so burnt I can only read KickAS posts, I can't even think about replying, it would be gibberish....

Keep on reading and posting, you are not alone out there--

Peace
Linc

Linc O'Brien

Welcome to KA Lenny. Things definitely change when you have a chronic illness. I understand how you feel. You aren't able to do the activities you used to do and so it is harder to get together with the people you used to do them with. I must say I have noticed a shift in my friends. But you know they are still there just busy doing things I used to do. So this fall I decided to take a few classes by myself and it try some different activities. I joined a yoga class on my rhuemy's advice and it is wonderful. I don't know a person in the class but they are friendly and understanding. Sometimes you have to step out of your box and try and maybe make new friends. I know it is not easy but try not to dwell on the negative( again, not always easy) but it is possible. I must say I am feeling a little more in control of my destiny than I was last year at this time. Not saying I have this AS under control yet but I am working on it. Good luck and keep posting Lenny. I look forward to reading more of your posts. Hang in there!

There is no drug stronger than a good attitude.

Hey Lenny i live 1 hour away from you I pm you so give me a call and i will take you out to lunch.
Bradford

To the world you may be one person,but,to one person you may be the world.

Hey Lenny~

I was going to say that we live relatively close to each other, I'm in Washington, but Bradford has me beat!! He's only an hour away! We could have a pacific northwest AS gathering! The folks in Canada are just a few+ hours away.... Hmmm...
Sounds like it has potential.

Sorry you're feeling bummed out. I feel similar every now and then and it just sucks.
Thank goodness it passes. Please stick around KickAS... everybody is needed here.

Big hugs~

Stacie

Lenny: My husband got a preliminary AS dx a month ago at age 45. He'd already been off work a month, and many of our friends were anxious to know how his first rheumy appointment went. When I emailed them with a brief summary and a few links where they could read about AS, most never replied. Guess they don't know what to say or how to act or -- who knows what??? The ones who did respond suggested natural supplements, chiropractors, etc... I felt pretty alone until I found this site ~ someday I will get my husband on here, too!

Rita