Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group *Stressed/Tired Workaholic* chewed out by Rheumy!

Well, I had one heck of an appointment with my rheumy on Friday. The man is very irritated with me!

I have had alot of home & work stress going on the past couple of months - my husband had one nasty serious health scare about 6 weeks ago, which is under control now (after a month of tests) and I've been working very long hours for the past few months (really long hours the past month due to server crash). I am a workaholic - have been all my working life. Long hours at work, not a lot of sleep, rest or time off is the norm for me. I haven't taken a vacation in 3 years. Needless to say, I'm stressed and exhausted and apparently my body has been telling me to slow down and I'm not listening.

I'm in a flare, have been for a while and basically have ignored it and kept pushing myself. My med's are not working properly as a result, my tendonitis hasn't gone away because I haven't been following doc's orders, etc etc...

My rheumy gave me a rather blatant ultimatum - cut my hours, stress and get some real rest or he's writing a letter to my employer telling him I can work no more than 8 hours a day. I tried to tell him that you just can't expect a workaholic to just stop. He said yes, you can and you will.

So, how does a bona fide (certifiable!) workaholic cut back on hours and start taking better care of herself in the process? I'm truly exhausted, am not sleeping well and I hurt from top to bottom. I have to say, I was taken aback by his "talk." It's my fault, I know it, I just didn't like hearing it expressed in such a way! We never like to hear the "truth", do we?

My rheumy upped my MTX to 5 pills a week and we may be switching me from Enbrel to Remicade in 6 weeks. In all fairness to me, the Enbrel has not been as effective as it was ever since my great teeth escapade last summer.

Sorry for the long post and rambling - any suggestions?

Sherree

Sheree, I chuckled in total understanding as I read your post. My rheumy had the same talk with me last year after I directed two shows in six months while working full time and trying to deal with the ramifications of my last relationship. The way he put it with me was "Kath, you have GOT to learn to pace yourself," while shaking his head. Five times in one half hour visit, Sheree. "Kath, you have GOT to learn to pace yourself."

As a chronic over-achiever, I understand your angst on this. Delegate, my dear. And start saying no to extra hours unless absolutely (and I mean ABSOLUTELY) necessary. Sometimes it can't be avoided, but until you start putting yourself first (hard, I know when faced with needing your job) you'll keep putting yourself back into flare and you'll make yourself even worse off.

It means learning to say 'yes' to yourself first. Not easy to retrain yourself out of an old habit, but probably what's necessary.

IMHO anyway.

Hugs,

Yea! Listen to him!!!!

If you don't you may not be here in 20 years to work.

Start taking gradual steps towards reducing your work load and trying to de-stress.

Lisa

how's this for motivation... my circumstanses were different, but after a prolonged period of taking care of my dying mother,24 hours per day.. and then taking care of everything else after she died... i had a fever of 105 the night before her funeral... i was getting almost no sleep. w/in a month i was being dxed with FIBROMYALGIA! this kind of stress & lack of sleep will sure wake it up if you have it lying dormant... do what you can... you don't want fibro!

good luck hugs,
teddi

ps-she had fibro too... i'm sure she would be sickened over my getting it!

Sheree,

Take it from an ex workaholic it's better to ease off now rather than cold turkey and absolute prohibition......

I hope the remicade works well for you, but you have to give it a chance.

Take Care

David

I used to work anywhere from 60-65 hours of programming and on top of it I was always on the go and bang last year I became bed ridden for close to 4 months with pain anywhere before I was diagnosed.

Listen to your doctor and take it easy it is not worth it.

Regards,
Ali

Glad to hear your hubby's health issue were resolved, also that your rheumy recognized the workaholic in you. Do you think you can abide by his orders?

I wonder how many here are/were workaholics.

I know I can be counted in that group but seriously, only stopped by the AS before I even knew what it was. Had to bow out of the classroom due to inconsistency. And this was after downsizing a few times from more physical jobs.

You have a very good question and I'm sorry I don't have some good suggestions. It would feel false to say "do as I say, not as I've done." Maybe dig deep within yourself looking for that balance.

good luck on the journey,
Klem

Hi Sheree,
I wouldn't class myself as a workaholic, but i do have a massive problem with taking time off etc, and i have a 1 1/2 hour commute to work and the same back every day so my working day is normally about 12 hours.

My AS has been getting worse and worse this past year, and the fatigue is simply awful, and after months of not sleeping more than an hour or two a night last year I was also diagnosed with fibromyalgia.

I now work pretty much just 9 to 5, i have just received a laptop so I can work from home if I need to, rather than calling in sick, and i realise now that if I push it I get worse and my biggest fear is the exhaustion reaching a point where I cannot function and I am forced to stop working. Being the self confessed workaholic you are, maybe pulling back now to enable you to keep working and doing the job you love for the forseeable future, rather than facing the possibilty of being forced to stop work because your body has has enough, will give you the impetus to start taking it a bit easier....tis hard though, finding the right level of not letting this beat you, but realising that you might have to start making changes, I really feel for you.

starrnr, aloha

i changed careers, became a chef, at age forty-nine...i was so driven and wanted so much and so loved the work...
and i had strength then...eighteen hour days...in 1999 i worked from 5 july to 7 february 2000 with a total
of five days off...almost did myself in.

read a good book, sit on the patio, have more sex, go swimming, learn to surf, enjoy live music, start a garden.
life is precious, enjoy some of it.

all my best
aloha Ben