Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Who Determines?

Beloved,
Who Determines How We Live?

I have a lot to learn, I know that.
I frequently embarrass myself.
But if I listen to the peanut gallery, I would not have
much to offer anyone in this world.

Who determines our value when our back begins to hurt and bend and twist?
Who determines our value when our body and soul begin to wear out? Or cause of so much pain we just want to be comforted. Why am I bending so?

After having tried the NSD, and failing nearly every week for a couple years some might say that I failed, I have said that too, I failed at the NSD! I know how hard it is and respect those who get their health back because of self
control.

I plan on sleeping in the snowy mountains next fall, once again. I am a little slower each year but that’s ok. It is the challenge and the quiet that seems to call me there each year. Self determination, seems to be the key to quality of life more than environment. I have seen the really strong fold under pressure, freeze because they got confused; cry over spilled milk.

I believe my family here at K.A has some unusually good characteristics that I want to address.
You have a sense of humor that lifts me every day,
Thank you.
You seem to live in the moment, rather than ruining
tomorrow with what might have been.
We are by choice willing to express our love to each other
Love never fails. It never does.
You make me stronger and happier!

Many of you will emerge from this “light affliction” with more strength and humor, knowing undeserved loved and younhave been able to make a difference. And that is
not to bad, when you consider that stronger healthier people are failing all around us.

I recently took “a turn for the worse”, and hated every
minute of it. But like all of you I have emerged more ready to teach the healthy what it is to live, really live.
Yep, I sure do love this place

Lon

Amen Lon,

Even if I don't get here nearly often enough.

Brother Lon,

Your words are always an inspiration. I hate that you have pain, and I hate that you have AS. But at the same time I am thankful you do, or so many here, including myself would never have come to know the encouragement in your words. I know I have had a better life for having heard your words.

Thank you for being you, and not being afraid to share yourself with the world

Pam

Lon,

LOVE your Posts, LOVE your Inspiration, Love your Presence!!!

Keeping you and you family in my thoughts and prayers..

Hugs,

Lisa

Love you Lon....
I love this place too

Sherri

hello my dear friend.

I think to a point each of us determines how we live. You are still getting up to the snowy mountains.

big hugs and much love to you.

For Lon, since i'm doing poems tonight i thought and hope you like this.


MARIGOLDS
Carman, Bliss, (1861-1929)

The marigolds are nodding;
I wonder what they know.
Go, listen very gently;
You may persuade them so.

Go, be their little brother,
As humble as the grass,
And lean upon the hill-wind,
And watch the shadows pass.

Put off the pride of knowledge,
Put by the fear of pain;
You may be counted worthy
To live with them again.

Be Darwin in your patience
Be Chaucer in your love;
They may relent and tell you
What they are thinking of.



I live amongst the mountains but have never tried to climb one! I wonder in awe at there changing beauty and majesty! The only time i got to the summit of a mountain Neil proposed to me (4 years ago just now)but we got up there on the mountain train!!! But then nothing could live up to that day, i dare say!

Love Laura x

Lon,

It's good to see you getting back to your normal self again. I know how those curve balls we get thrown can knock us off balance for a bit but we recovery and move forward a little stronger each time.

We each determine within ourselves how we choose to live and let this disease and other problems affect us. Sometimes it can overwhelm us without warning but other times we can control how we let it affect us in our daily lives. The one choice a lot of us have a hard time overcoming is asking for help when we need it and coming here asking questions usually gets more useful information than asking family or friends who have no idea what we are feeling or talking about. Another big problem is patience mosly the lack of it but as we age we learn a great deal.

I worte a poem when my kids were younger about trying to be patience as they grew and found their own way

Patience!

Patience is a virtue I am told.
Something we all receive as we grow old.
How do we know we have something we can not see?
That is the question, many have ask of me.
As we all sit, wonder and wait.
We watch our kids do things and not hesitate.
Yes we watch them, as they stumble and fall.
We are helping them learn lessons in life is all.
Much like our parents did for us.
We bite our tongues and try not to cuss.
I know at times things get rough.
It makes this patience thing seem mighty tough.
Maybe it is not something we get from growing old.
Maybe patience is something that comes with our parental role.
I hope by now my friends you can see.
Just what this thing called patience means to me.

MrB

MrB, I LOVE the poem....thanks for sharing

Loninator....you never cease to amaze me, as you always are going through something in life that teaches you, and us,something....you learn from your life...many people don't!

You mention self determination when confronted by adversity..you think you failed at the NSD but want to sleep in the snowy mountains! I think that shows true grit...you will do that, despite what you think is NSD failure...because you have the attitude to overcome AS....really...I've read your posts for years...you have been through so much, and I think...perhaps.. I was the first to suggest that you write a book of "Lonism's" because you always learn from your situations, and are able to write about them in a way that makes US want to continue reading!!

So self determination....even in our most depressing environment, we have a choice...and like you say, we can choose love or...whatever alternative...but "love never fails..." ANOTHER LONISM!!!!
Man, you must write that book...
Peace
Linc