Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group I was a bit upset earlyer

Hi every one as you all know I'm a bit of a joker and enjoy having a good laugh with every one and I like to think that I don't offend any one I certainly don't intend to.
But on a serious note I was upset to learn that a new member is thinking of leaving KA because they find that some of the comments made regarding Doctors and pharmaceutical company s upsetting.I do know they are not the only one upset by this as I have people making comments to me in PMs.I realise and accept we all have a right to free speech and giving our opinions on these subjects but would just ask people to think about what they say or how they say it before writing it.
I realise I may be out-of-order writing this as I'm not a moderator or a member of Admin for that I apologise to Admin if I've over stepped the mark. I just felt that we need to support the new people coming here when they are suffering in pain and want comfort and support and not frighten them off by appearing to be arguing and making out all Doctors And pharmaceutical company s are bad.I know they are not all brilliant at what they do but a lot of them are caring professionals. Sorry to go on but just thought it needed to be said.
KA rocks and we do a lot of good lets not taint it by the way we speak.

Kevin

Great post, Kevin!

Well placed Kevin

As an oldtimer around here, I guess that I look at most of the little conflicts, and bickering here as just being part of this huge family. And like a big family, I agree that to a newcomer we might seem a bit rough. We really aren't. Thank you for making the point that maybe we should take a breath and read our posts before pressing the submit button. Given a chance to shine we really can.

Hi Kevin,

You are not out-of-order at all sharing these thoughts in the open. I think you are very wise and I hope that expressing your concerns like this may serve to help our community.

As another member wisely said, people should feel free to share their own experiences and interactions about their treatment and care, good or bad, with the aim to give and/or receive support.

I also feel it would be kinder and more respectful of one another to tone down the hyperbole a bit, particularly on subject matters that are not born of personal experience; to recognise that sharing opinion, information and personal insight does differ from trying to impose personal beliefs. It should be easy to keep in mind that fellow posters are hurting and that overly negative, pushy, or repetitive comments are not apt to be helpful.

You are a truly generous, supportive soul Kevin - thank you.
mig

Keven, as a new poster, I don't think your posting is out of line at all. It is up to all of us to try to be as respectful as possible to our fellow posters. We all need to remember the people who might read our words might have had a bad day. They might be in pain, tired, discouraged or down in many other ways. I have seen some people actually bully other posters(not on this forum) and we all need to speak up when someone does this.

Many new posters will read a few comments and just go away if they feel that this is not a caring place. I really hate to see that. Many people will read a lot before ever getting up the nerve to post. I know sometimes that people might say something hateful if they are feeling discouraged or in pain, it is really a balancing act to keep the message board caring and to allow people to vent also. Most of the time, I think that the people here do a good job.
Donna

Well said, my dear!!

Our newcomers are the main reason that I object to posts like that in the first place. Imagine coming somewhere for support with a disease that scares the bejeebers out of you, only to be told you can't trust your doctors and you can't trust the pharma companies. Great. So if all these people who seem to know way more than you do about AS are telling you this stuff where do you turn for actual hands-on support? The moon?

I agree with your point whole-heartedly!

Warm hugs,

Thank you Kevin for your post. The rest of my comments are to the KickAS forum members at large. I hope this does not sound harsh, It is not meant to be, I hope my candor does not offend anyone.

Do you remember how it was when you made your first post? Did you lurk for a few days before you got up the nerve to post? When you finally did post did you watch everyone commenting all around you in other posts while only a few members welcomed you. Did this happen to you? If it didn't or you didn't percieve it that way, you are lucky. Did the people who welcomed you encourage you come back with an update or did they just welcome you and never come back to the original post to find out or ask how you are doing?

Did we just say welcome and hope they post again? Do we only respond in droves when someone feels rejected and tells us they are going to leave?

I know I am guilty


I think we forget what it is like to be a new member trying to fit in. I think we need to pay attention to our new members a little more than we do. I know this is something I will be working on to make this a better place for new members. If anyone would like to work on changing the dynamics of this site I would like to hear from them with any ideas to make this a better place for all.

Thanks for that Jeff yes you are so right we do need to be more welcoming to new members and make sure we follow-up on them.Thats what I thought KA was all about. I think some people are getting too tied up in political arguments and personal experiences with Doctors and personal opinions about pharmaceutical company's. Ok we are all entitled to make comments about these things but why not have a forum just for that sort of thing instead of pushing it on every one. especially the new comers who don't know us.

Kevin

Mig

I hope I didn't step on any toes with my comments. It was not my intent.

You guys are great !!!!

I just want other members to put any ideas out there as to what we can do as individual members and how we 'act" in our interaction with new members.

My comments can also be directed at those who ignore our members that are in pain or are suffering. Sometimes just posting. "Sorry to hear you're not doing well" can make a world of difference to someone hurting.

I know I can't force someone to post but maybe we should remember what our focus is up front and foremost.

Comment on the other "stuff" all you want but remember what we are here for.