Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Spirituality and living with a chronic illness

There is no god. He (or she?) was invented by people who needed hope and an explanation for the happenings of the world before we had science.. There is also no karma... but I sometimes really wish there was

Chronic diseases never seem to occur to people who do terrible things.. they often happen to the best of us. The nicest person I ever knew was my best friend from high school.. he died of cancer, aged 19.

I don't know whether I am lucky to 'only' have a disease like AS, which compared to some types of cancer is not so bad... or unlucky because I have a chronic disease which 99% of people my age do not have to deal with. Either way, I know it is only because of genetics or simply bad luck. Things could certainly be better, but they could defiantly also be a lot worse.

think steve's philosophy here pretty much summarizes mine.

i go by the "it is what it is", and i do what i can to live as productive a life as i can, despite this challenge. everyone i think has a cross to bear, this is mine, and comparing mine to anyone else's seems futile.

maybe because i developed this at the age of 35 and much of who i am was shaped, but never felt that this has influenced who or what i am very much. on the other hand, living with migraines, gastrointestinal woes, etc from a young age, maybe those things have given me the ability to overcome obstacles; then again, i was very "determined" from the time i can remember and may have had even more staying power if i was healthier, who knows?

i certainly don't see illness as a blessing, not when it keeps me from contributing all the positive things i have to contribute. maybe because i'm a professor and therefore my job is to be there for others, but when i am sick, i can not be there for others the way i can be when i am healthy. so no, more of a hurdle than a blessing. at least that's the way i see it for now.

Thanks for sharing your thoughts everyone.

I would not be here today if it not for my strong faith. From a very abbusive childhood to the 40 year struggle with AS. I pull my strength to go forward in lifes journey with joy, from my faith.
Cindy

wow. just when i was at a loss, starting to get into my woeful, "why me?" moment (come on, we've all had those moments!) i came on this site and found this post. so thank you for that!

i have had pretty much all the thoughts that you have each expressed...minus just a few

my personal experiences from a young age included things like other back problems, sports injuries, migraines, GI issues...so i was the kid who was always going to the doctor anyway. i wasn't really surprised when i was diagnosed with this, but the fact that it's something that can't be "fixed" or "healed" is what kind of got me. everything else that's been thrown at me i have learned to deal with, taken a pill for, gone to therapy and taken care of. i had control over it, was stronger for it, and put it behind me. not being able to put AS behind me is my biggest hurdle, mentally. BUT, my mom has always said to me "what does not kill you makes you stronger", so i have tried to maintain that philosophy.

i certainly do not believe that any of us deserve this or did something where this is in any way karmic. but i do believe that on our bad days, we do what we must for our bodies and our minds and on our good days we are just ourselves...unmoved, unwavering by this disease that seemingly wants to overtake us.

i have been taking hot yoga classes, which have helped me physically, mentally and spiritually. it allows me to get more in-tune with my body, to really feel my breathing, and to stretch in ways i didn't think i would be able to. my joints feel amazing afterwards! also, the instructor i have is great, and she reads from these wonderful books about awareness, spirituality, etc. i do not practice any specific religion, so this is almost like my new religious practice - with added benefits. =)
i think we all need to stay strong in the face of adversity, no matter how hard our days get. i have had other issues crop up because of this disease (currently out of work, have lost a previous job because of this...) and i know that others on here have been in the same boat. it's great that we have eachother to lean on and vent to, when people around us can't possibly understand what we go through or how we feel.

take the good days with the bad...and may each of you find what works best for you in terms of spirituality and fulfillment!
all the best,
laureen

I don't believe in a God. My mother was Jewish and my Father is Christian so that led me to be well versed in those practices of religion. I am however of the mind that there is more to this universe than I can comprehend. However it regards nothing along the lines of a divine intervention, one that knows my thoughts, what the future holds and the likes of kharma etc.

I write this not feeling the same after a year of gabapentin and pain killers. I apologize that my ability of conveying thoughts are suffering atm.

It bothers me most when people feel that atheist are in inherently bad and without morale substance. For nothing could be further from the truth. Good people do good things and bad people do bad things.

I have dug wells and built many homes directly with my own money for people in Chili. I did this for I want peoples experience of life to be the best it can. For I believe this is all we get.

One example- When I talked to disability people in Ontario they asked me how I can be almost out of money when I made over 100k a year for 9 years. When I said that I was giving 60k of it away yearly, they said no you didn't, your tax returns showed no charity deductions. When I said I didn't give to charity I gave directly to the people, they looked stunned. I had to show them receipts for it took a while for them to see I was being truthful. I said that I had so much more of a impact doing it directly and that I could see first hand that I was making a difference. I didn't do this for a tax break or to please a God. I did it for people who needed it. I told them that when I would go to Chili and use the telescopes. I seen first hand how the people lived and I had the power to change it and I did. Now that I have a chronic Illness and have not worked in about a year I still have no regrets.

When I was in University and read "The missionary position" I found a book that had the same view of the world I had. That book made more sense than my Rabbi or a minister ever did.

As far as God goes. I have never seen someone grow back a eyeball or a limb. I have never seen nothing wrong with peoples language, color or sexual orientation. I feel women are equal in EVERY sense. Just to name a few.

I hope the future holds more science and less mysticism for all. I hope we can cure disease and extend life. I love being alive and having a chronic Illness has not and will not change that.

As far as how I got here I think- Were are all just a colorless odorless gas, that if given enough time will evolve to form complex being such as us. I just think how cool it is to be alive and how awesome the universe is. I love quantum mechanics, I never ever get bored.

I find I side with a mindset of knowledge that's based on observations made over time, not by knowledge based in thoughts of tradition.

I have truly enjoyed reading all of your shared philosophies and thoughts, thank you for this.

If I understand correctly, karma is accumulated from lifetime to lifetime, so it would not be possible to know what one may or may not have done in a previous time around... Having said this I still don't believe that AS or illness is any punishment or negative inducement, just is a physical frailty. When you stop to think about it, healthy/"perfection" is the normal baseline, and that is a miracle in itself. Life is miraculous and amazing, and you know this very well if you are a parent, a pet owner or have ever grown a garden.

I do not feel lucky to have AS and I don't appreciate it for very much, but I am hopeful. I believe medical science will come through and reboot our immune systems and we'll all be feeling better sometime soon...

Many blessings to all, Jessica