Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group my mother is dying

Such a shock. She is only 64, so full of life and energy. Stronger and more energetic than me. Just got diagnosed, it is stage 4 pancreatic cancer. The woman who is the heart of our family does not have long to live. I'm devastated. I'm one of those very lucky people who have such a warm, caring and fun relationship with my mom. She had me when she was only 20, I thought maybe we'd be old ladies together. We're in touch every day. She lives across the country. I'm flying back and forth to be there for her. My 9 year old and husband just spent two weeks without me so I could be there with my mom.
Flying is so rough on me. I don't mean to complain. Just look at what my mom is going through! But the flying and the caring for my mom (lots of stairs in her house) it is really tiring. I just keep saying it will make me stronger and I've been meaning to work out more so here it is, the ultimate work out, caring for someone you love.
Trying to plan and work out how we will manage this, like, do I move back home and bring my daughter with me, enroll her in school there for the year?
I'm just here letting it all out because I'm so sad. And I'm worried that I'll start to flare in the Fall and get worse in the winter, which has so far been my thing over the last few years. I just want to be there for her. She has been so incredibly caring and helpful for me, especially when I got dx with uveitis and then gluten sensitivity and finally spodylitis. She was always cooking or baking for me, or trying to help me in so many ways, and I was always so appreciative, and loved to give that caring right back to her.
It is just really sad.
Thanks for listening.

You and mother and family will be in our prayers.
Bradford

I am so sorry about this. I will be sending lots of prayers up for you and you family.

Hi Jan,

Reading your post felt like I had writen it myself about my mother who passed 2 yrs ago. She was my best friend. She also cooked for me when I was gluten free and found NSD for me when I got the AS dx but I was stubborn to do it at the time. I could go on about how your post has touched me.

Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman and I'm so sorry for her, you and your family to deal with this. I will have her and yours in my prayers.

Sending lots of love your way

I'm sorry you have to go through this hard time. I will pray that your AS does not flare and I will especially pray for your mother. It is good she has you to love her and take care of her, that is so important.
Take care,
Sheri

I so sorry, Jan, and send you all the biggest hugs. I hope you and your mom can have some special time together over the next weeks and months and that pain will not get in the way.

My very best wishes

sorry to hear about your mum. please feel free to ignore this info and i apologise if it is inappropriate but my uncle also has terminal cancer and i recently did a trawl through pubmed and cancer journals to see if there were any alternative treatments supported by scientific evidence. one of the ones I found in the Journal of Integrative Cancer Therapies used a protocol involving LDN that was used to treat elderly terminal pancreatic cancer patients with metastases to the liver.
abstract - http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/20042414
full paper pdf - http://tinyurl.com/4337e5n

so very sorry to hear the news.

your relationship with your mother sounds wonderful and in the years to come it will be good to have such wonderful memories.

and i understand the whole travel thing. one of my biggest fears.

my husband's mother passed from metastasized esophageal cancer a few years ago, so know what the family is going through. glad you can be there for your mother. we were fortunate that my husband was telecommuting at the time and could spend much time with his mother in her last few months and help his father out. glad you can do that as well.

Hi Jan,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Other than the fact that I'm male and you're female, you pretty much exactly described the situation I have with my mother as far as our relationship being very close. And, like your mom, my mom had me at a young age (19), so she is only 66 now (I'm 47). We talk every day, and, luckily, she only lives an hour from me so we see each other frequently. In fact, because my AS is so severe and I'm on full disability, she comes down to my house every couple weeks to help out with my laundry, groceries, etc. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to lose her now, which means I cannot even remotely imagine the pain you must be feeling right now. My heart goes out to you and your family, and you will be in my thoughts and prayers every day. I am glad you are going to be able to spend time with her and be there to ease her pain as much as you can in the coming months--I hope being there helps ease your pain too. Stay strong.

Brad

Jan l am so sorry to hear your news l totally understand how you feel as l lost my Mam quick too 21 months ago in sim ilar circumstances and like your Mam my Mam was so strong and vibrant and l loved her so. She was wonderful,and l was truly blessed x I think of how lucky l was it keeps me sane l dont know what elese to say to you because as l discovered there are no words. Take care and my thoughts are with you all xxx