Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group My denial is coming to an end...

I'm a newbee here. I've been diagnosed with spondylitis for a couple of years and am just now barely realizing that this stuff isn't going away. There is no surgery to fix this. And the loss (what I used to be able to do compared to what I can do now) is overwhelming. Even my pity party is winding down - so now what?? Those of you who are/were athletes....how do you deal with this?

I gave up on athletics when I was in college, due to back pain plus misinformation from an orthopedist (who thought the problem was congenitally-fused vertebrae that I was putting too much stress on). A good part of my self-identity was tied up in being strong and fit, so even aside from the thrills of sport, retiring was not easy. However I did have a really challenging major to throw myself into, and eventually I made friends with some other engineering geeks who enjoyed the occasional frisbee game but nothing more physical that would stress my back too much.

Sooner or later most athletic people get injury, illness, or just plain lack of time that prevents them from being a hotshot like when they were young, so now approaching 40 I'd probably be frustrated at how much worse I was anyways (despite all youthful resolutions to the contrary). Now I have a good excuse for being a wimp and just focus on things I can still be good at

I know your mood exactly. I tried everything I could think of to keep long range hiking.... but now I am content to swim and ride my strike most days. Come on over and goof off with the fitness team. We will encourage you in whatever new mode of movement you find. click here

growing up, i ran, rode horses, climbed trees. in the summer, we went to the ocean and the lake and i swam long and hard. loved ice skating in the winter. in high school, my friend and i took up tennis, i started running distance, even did a half marathon (well, it was a 20 K walk-a-thon that 2 friends and i ran). rode my bike everywhere too, as my main form of transportation until my late 20s. either walked or biked everywhere.

but as i got older, the running turned to walking only. the tennis fell by the wayside. didn't swim as much. didn't ride my bike as often, as the 5 years in maryland, never felt safe on the roads (too much traffic). and too far south to ice skate.

i got older, got busier, got involved in other things.

and then the inflammatory arthritis hit at age 35. i took up yoga. found a therapeutic pool. started walking every day. got out my bike again after many years of not riding.

so for me, getting busy had me giving up all the activity i once enjoyed, but getting sick, got me moving again. you might say the inflammatory arthritis reintroduced me to healthier habits.

do i miss some of the things i used to do? sure. but they've been replaced by other things. still, sometimes i yearn for certain things, but then i just focus my mind on something else.

Well I use to play many sports from when I was about 5yrs to 23yrs old. Hockey mainly. Never anything beyond High School and after that Pick up twice a week. I miss it a lot; especially Ice Hockey.

Now I play NHL 2012, or other sports games on my PS3 while pedaling my recumbent for 60 minutes, everyday. Its not as fun but its the best thing I have found that my body could handle and still be enjoyable. I found the recumbent is easiest on me and on my feet. I try to get a combined 2 hours of riding in per day with bit of resistance at the pedals. I have bad days so at times this can vary.

If you go the PS3 recumbent route get a more expensive Dual Mic noise cancelling Blue tooth headset. More so if you get on a league team. It will save you any questions about heavy breathing and the like.

Thanks for your note. I appreciate your last line...it's very very difficult for me to feel "weak" - although I am in my 50's. But there's something of a relief to read that you're OK with being a wimp and still finding things to enjoy. It's time for me to let go, I think.

I went to the fitness team - but it looks like noone has posted anything there since2010. I thought maybe everyone had just given up on fitness.

Oh, I don't know that "acceptance" is the answer. I'm in my 50s, and I think that I will continue to battle this disease until I die. I have found that being in good shape greatly helps to offset the effects of AS. I was much more distressed when I was 70 pounds heavier. Losing the excess weight, cycling, hiking, and weightlifting has greatly improved the quality of my life. The trick is to find low-impact activities and to not overly stress yourself.

--Greg

Greg -
Thanks for your perspective. On many levels. Under your name it lists your diagnoses, etc - and I'm amazed that you still hike with SI joint fused - and with pain. That is so encouraging. I hike a lot but get really discouraged because I can go about 1/20th the distance that I used to go - it makes me want to just give up on it. But I guess I've got nothing to lose, really, if I keep at it. Sometimes I'm a big baby when I don't get to do what I want to do when I want to do it!
Thanks again. Receiving these posts has helped so much. I don't know anyone with this disease except me.
Brenda

i think you were on a middle page and not the last one. several people still post every day. very active. just make sure you're on the last page of the thread.