Plaatypus - phew. You did a right number an no mistake. Icing and more icing, which is what you are doing. I do feel for you - an yes, those 'particular' pew benches are...??!! Mind you, being a 'Prommer' at the alber Hall, sitting on the floor is about as comparable, perhaps a tad worse (yes

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Can you get yourself a sorbot cushion, or a blow up cushion. We used to have a great blow up rubber ring with a hole in the middle, comfy. But it perished, never could ge an exact replacement. Wonder if a swimming ring would do the trick? Might be worth investigating. Gotta be the right size for one's butt though...
Ankle supports. Yes, I get the same problems with my ankles, but yours sound a deal worse than mine. Hell when they give way, just like that. A cane might help, but do make sure it has a proper ferrel on it otherwise you could be in dire trouble. One of those walking poles are terrif. As for the stairs - darlin gal, a stair lift... Honestly, you and Dragonslayer, what a pair

You jes take care, no more doppy incidents, OK? Ice a towel in the freezer and take Arnica. Pills an Arnica cream to rub into the bruise. Really good stuff - swear by Arnica.
Molly