so sorry to see how upset you are right now
but others are correct, use us for support if you need to.
and each day will get easier, i've been through the ups and downs so many times, and no matter how bad things get, somehow they always manage to turn around.
and it looks like wendy has supplied you with a number of potentially useful sites, she is wonderful that way

no matter how much pain she is in, always thinking of others. so many here are like selfless like that.