chris, i wonder if, instead of an addiction to this pain, the things that you are describing doing, is your way of trying to have some control over this pain. if you can't make it go away, then maybe you want to feel that the pain that you do feel is something that you did, because you chose to do it, you controlled it, it will stop when you choose not to do it? don't know, just another idea. i could understand a feeling of loss of control and trying anything to regain just a little bit.

also, i wish we could help you as much as you help the rest of us. you always seem to have just the right words and i feel that whatever i say just seems so inadequate in comparison. i do hope our just being here for one another is something. i do hope you can eventually find some relief over this pain. that is one reason to just hang on through it, things often do get better, not something we can control or predict but experience (and my internal guide) tell me this. or maybe that is my coping mechanism.


sue

Spondyloarthropathy, HLAB27 negative
Humira (still methylprednisone for flares, just not as often. Aleve if needed, rarely.)
LDN/zanaflex/flector patches over SI/ice
vits C, D. probiotics. hyaluronic acid. CoQ, Mg, Ca, K.
chiro
walk, bike
no dairy (casein sensitivity), limited eggs, limited yeast (bread)