Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Kids poll!

i am sooooooo curious about you guys and your kids. i have made some pretty big decisions in this area b/c of AS.

... so do you have kids? ages? AS? how do you cope with AS and kids? has anyone made the big decision not to have kids b/c of AS?

i want to hear all the good stuff about your little bundles too!!

gentle hugs,
teddi

I do, I have a beautiful little boy who is almost 17 months old! I haven't regretted having him for a single second! my as went into remission whilst I was preggers, and funny enough save one serious flare up last summer it's been all but silent..

I have two daughters. Ages 12 and 10. Both of them were suprise gifts from God. They are truly my driving force to keep going and not just laying down to die. I believe that all things are for a reason and God blessed me with both of them to help me too. I pray that neither of them get/ have AS. I wouldnt wish the AS monster on even my worst enemy. Both of my daughters are aware of my AS. My littlest one even talked to her teacher about it and found out her teacher had it too!! They offer to help me out when it gets really bad. I cherish every moment I have with them. They have enriched my life so much.

hi teddi...
i've got 3 bugs in a rug...
gianna is 10. sofia is 4 and alessandro will be 2 at the end of this month....
i had gianna before i went full blown with spondy monster. i was dx shortly after sofie was born. alessandro was a surprise pregnancy. i didnt get to go into remission unfortunately but the spinal that they did for my c-section numbed my thoracic for six GLORIOUS weeks after he was born. since then my as has become worse in thoracic.

but they are my life. art and i loved our fun things we did before. taking naps whenever. eating a meal in peace. finishing a meal. eating at a nice restarurant. but my life is complete with them. they drive me nuts. but my kids are what keep me going. my oldest has seen me when i was healthier so it's hardest for her. but she is there for me to help when i am down. it is indeed very difficult. incredibly difficult. i wont lie. there are times when i cry because the pain is so bad and having 3 wee ones all at once running in different directions is testy. but i try to take a five minute break to regroup and it works out better. i also have learned my limitations. cant be superwoman. they make me laugh when i am grumpy. gianna rubs my back when i cant take another step. and my son..welll...those dimples..need i say more? seriously...bad days..which are often lately...i let them know..can do certain things. no outside running like maniacs when mom can barely walk. we can color. pop a dvd in. make popcorn. good days...walk in the mall to get some exercise. or to our local park. today was good. so went to go see war of the worlds with gianna and her school pal. she was so thrilled. great movie!

plan on pulling out their new mini kiddie pool tomorrow and a slip-n-slide..ahhh..remember when i could do that. lol ..now i would slip...and stay. lol. i will observe only!! volunteer art instead...

night..

Great question, Teddi!

I have a 13 y/o son, and a 12 y/o daughter, both born before my dx. Can't have any more, but that isn't AS related.

They are my life. They've watched me get sick over time, and never seem to be saddened by it. They do their chores (sometimes without asking, sometimes not), persue their interests as if there are no barriers, and enjoy playing board games, tending to our garden, and watching movies just as much as they used to enjoy camping, fishing, hiking, and mountain climbing, and have never mentioned that we don't do those things as much (if at all).

Kaylie plays violin, and wants to learn guitar. Has her eyes on a cherry red Satin Stratocaster, and the babysitting job to cover it is in a couple of weeks. She and her brother both plan on going to Julliard-she wants to major in art and architecture, he wants to major in music. Joshua plays french horn, and wants to play in the Dallas Symphony. He also wants to learn to play the Bass guiter, but his mainstay is still the horn.

My kids are an amazing blessing in my life. Wouldn't go back and change a thing.

At my last rheumy visit, the doc confirmed that since I am B27 negative, my kids' chances of getting the disease were minimal (no more than the regular population). I would've cheered if I could lift my arms properly.

Would write more, but have to run!

I have three natural and one adopted, all before my Dx....would it have changed anything? Maybe if I had known about my AS before I found asweb. My father had AS and the thought of passing it along to my kids may have caused me to rethink becoming a father. After finding asweb and this fab group, I think I would have risked it.

My son is HLAB-27+, has had some of the classic symptoms when he was in his late 20's and "favors" his back some after heavy work and in the early am. Not serious enough to be sure it's AS but..... When he was thinking about a family we talked about it and both thought the rewards outweighed the risks. John now has a 8 year old son who is the light of his life and he does wonder if his son be the unlucky one sometimes.

Maybe we all (family members) would change our thinking should one of the young ones develops a severe case but then again, the body is just a vehicle for the mind and soul and, when it all comes down to it, they are all that really matters.

I have 2 children, Kelcie 8, Eddie 7. When I was 21, I was told by my Gyn that I would never be able to have children (female probs). I became pregnant when I was 33, and then again when I was 34. That was my one(two) true miracle(s). They are remarkable children and I am so proud of them!! They understand my condition to the best of their capability and in my opinion, have had to pitch in with chores and helping out around the house way more so than children their ages should have to.

I am very scared that they may have this dreadful disease, and I seem to think that my daughter is showing signs that she may have it. We'll see. I am hopeful that there will be a cure to AS in their future. My father and my grandfather had it, (they're both passed), and both were completely hunched forward, (staring straight down at their feet), in their 40's. There is so much more being done for AS now than there was then, and it will only get better with research and all these new meds and diets that are truly helping so many AS sufferers.

I would definitely not let AS be the deciding factor in choosing not to have children. (Besides they have both learned how to give great back rubs and they learned to tie their own shoes so early because they so often had to tie my shoes when I was not able to do it myself!!!!) LOL

Sue

Hi there,
I have three kids. I had them before I found out I had AS. Only one has AS. You all know her, PrincessMichelle.

Debora

Hi Teddi, I don't have any kids. That wasn't the plan, just how things turned out. I've always wanted kids, felt as though it was part of what I was meant to do in this lifetime. Unfortunately, I also believe that children should have a father in their lives as well as a mother, and I never was able to have a relationship that lasted long enough that that would have happened.

Now, I'm 41. I'm getting close to that time when I will no longer be able to have children. I still live alone and I have the AS dx. I haven't really decided not to have kids because of the dx, but weighing all the factors presently in my life, I realize that it's really not the best thing I could do. I'd be almost 60 while my child was reaching 20; I have days when I cannot even look after myself, let alone a child.

So, sadly, I will more than likely not be having children in this lifetime.

Hugs,

Kat... i'm childless too (age 40)... it's one of the reasons i did the poll... i think the majority @kickas have children & some grandkids... who wouldn't want to brag about them?

i was a nanny for about 10 years and loved every minute of it... i'm one of those ppl who believe things happen for a reason, so i'm very glad i got the chance to raise great kids even if they weren't mine. if i hadn't had that chance i might be a little nuts by now.

we're about the same age... did you plan to be a stay at home mom? it's all i ever wanted... i did go to get my education degree @ the University of Oklahoma... even then the plan was once my kids were old enough for school... i'd go teach... same hours, vacations, etc.

maybe life will surprise us yet!

gentle hugs,
teddi