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Oct 6th, 2025
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If you want to use this QR code (Quick Response code) just save the image and paste it where you want. You can even print it and use it that way. Coffee cups, T-Shirts etc would all be good for the QR code.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Quote:
if a mother can say this to me, then i do not know what to expect from a stranger.......
Exactly...........for some reason I think if my mother doesn't belive me, why would anyone? It's like finding this out now, is totally turning my world upside down. Who else thinks I am just neurotic?
Thanks for your support! Everyone here has been so helpful.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Hi Dan - I haven't worked for pay in a long time. I have 2 teenagers, who I have been lucky enough to raise without having to worry about finances, we get by (barely). Luckily, my husband likes to work, loves his job. That program does sound interesting, helping people living with pain find their nitch in the work force. Any suggestions for those with AS, since my mother thinks I should get a job (LOL)....................Thanks.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Quote:
You, my dear, are a tough lady and I admire your strength to deal with the insensitive comments from your mum. Keep trying to not let her get to you...you know what you know and deal with - she does not live in your body and cannot have any understanding about "us" unless she also has the disease. You're a tough cookie (with your self-healing qualities and positive outlook) and like Megan, I admire you for that as well.
I really don't have the strength to deal with this! My way of dealing is to ignore, but it never goes away I am learning! I've decided to face it this time, and see what happens. It's so hard for me, this conflict. Will it be worth it? I would like her support. I don't want to end the relationship.
Maybe she would believe me, if I was in pain 24/7, taking meds 24/7............like my brother did for 20 years. But he died at age 47 of a heart attack. I'm trying to avoid that.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Thanks for making me laugh!
But it really is ironic, because she had double knee surgery 2 years ago, and has more pain in her knees now, then she did before. The doctors are telling her her knees are fine, they think its her spine causing her pain now...........but she hasn't bothered to mention to them that her daughter has a genetic form of spinal arthritis! She hasn't bothered to have the HLA-B27 blood test. I'm nt saying she has it, but she certainly is in denial that she could have it.
Next time she complains about her knees, I think I should tell her to get a job! I am bad!
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Quote:
I think it helped her to learn that my brother, whom she secretly dotes on(forgive me Mom), was dx'd. Not that she didn't believe me, but you how Moms are with their favorites! (Ha!)
I hope your Mom soon accepts your AS and becomes someone you can turn to for support.
Thanks Wanda - my mom is in her 70's. I don't have anyone else in my family whose been diagnosed. Just me. Maybe thats part of the problem, why she does't believe. Or even why she's in denial..............my doctor,after hearing my family history, thinks we do have a history of the disease, but without diagnosis. My father and brother were both in similiar chronic pain for years. Both died young. But short of digging up their bodies and having them tested for the gene, it remains only me confirmed.
It would be nice to have my mothers support. It's great your mother came around............if any of my brothers were diagnosed, I am sure it would be a similiar story.
Oh, I try to love my children equally. I have one boy and one girl.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
I couldn't resist, I sent your sentiments on to my mom, I'll let you know what happens!
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Thanks Tim. My normal MO is to ignore and avoid, but I am going to try and face this one, because life is passing me by. I want to finally be respected and accepted by my mom, for who I am. For god sakes, I'm 44 years old already.
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Quote:
People think it takes the most patience to be a parent dealing with their children....I THINK adult children need to have the most patience to deal with their 'nutty' parents!!!!
Thanks Rita, I think I might have to agree with that now, patience and everything else.
This has to be more difficult for me, then eveything I have been through this year, all the effort of avoiding pain.......that was easy compared to facing my mothers negative judgement............what the heck is my problem?
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Quote:
(although at times you may feel like opting for a heavy mallet  )
LOL. Thanks for your understanding and support!
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Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034
Iron_AS_Kicker
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OP
Iron_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,034 |
Quote:
but she finally came around and now actively looks for new things that might help me out.
Hopefully she'll come around and won't be so insensitive the next time.
Good luck!
Thanks Sara - wouldn't that be nice! I'll be needing all the luck I can get! LOL. Seriously, you have given me hope. Maybe she will come around.
Now, I am worried that she will just become phoney now though, and pretend to come around. I don't want to be mocked, or treated like a cripple, or like I'm neurotic! Why is it so complicated? Oh, I want all this to just go away.
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