Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Mental Health and AS

Micki, try starting with a very simple daily pain chart insted of trying to put things into words in a journal.
Cindy

Yah, I hear you. What I find with my journals is that all the detailed AS info comes out as I write. Sort of organically. It's certainly not organized!!

I'll be writing about how I'm feeling that day, say, what's going on in my life and how I feel about it. At some point during that, where I hurt is put in, what the weather is and the other stuff. I find it interesting when I go back to read and realize that I have all this info in there and it's really helped me to keep track of patterns.

So, don't feel you have to be all 'bulletted list' about it. Just write whatever comes out of your brain and through your pen. It's an emotional tool. The other stuff is sort of a beneficial side effect.

Warm hugs,

well, if i may,

you're not a hypochondriac; the very nature of the AS experience is that you experience episodic events in which the spondy monster is try to further mess you up. every day is a different adventure.
personally i believe visualinzing the spondy monster for your self is an important thing...i like the alien in that series of movies.
your fighting that alien.

i also really really really dislike the use of the word suffer;
DO NOT SUFFER...oh bad stuff happens and you're sure not enjoying every moment of the experience. but suffer implies surrender and we ain't about surrender.

depression is a difficult quandry. You gots bad stuff happening and thingees are beyond your control; your keen sense of self is not wrong in seeing a black cloud overhead. a grasp of the obvious is not depression it's awareness. depression is when you accept the concept that you deserve the black cloud overhead.

and well look, in the end ya gots to have the internal whatever to say to self, hey look i didn't do anything wrong, this is not my fault, i am not to blame. curse that black cloud but don't ever take ownership of it.

ya ain't gonna do all the stuff ya wants to do, but ya make an akward peace with yourself about doing all ya can and ya just gotta try to do the best you can at it.

there's an old essay by camus, 'the myth of sisyphus' bout some
dude sentenced to roll a big rock up a hill for all eternity
and then watch it roll back down the hill and start over...'one must imagine sisyphus happy' he has the great joy of laughing at an absurd world whilst chasing said big rock back down the hill.

I have been keeping a journal on my computer where I just say what I am feeling. Sometimes, in the early AM, I sort of ramble. I don't post on it everyday but usually 3-4 times a week. I plan to give it to my Rheumy when I see him.
Donna

That's a really good idea. I'll be doing much the same thing when I hand the manuscript of my book to my rheumy this summer. I'm planning to do it this summer. I figure he'll have a really good understanding of how my AS has affected me once he reads that!!!

warm hugs,

You may you may,

Thanks for the response! Just what I needed! Ah... old sisyphus and the sense of humor. Laugh at the madness of the situation and accept life as it is. Thanks

Peace

Cindy,
I find simple charts are hard for me to do.
I was pretty overwhelmed yesterday. I feel better today because I did so much less. It is a real shame that walking 5 blocks to my daughter's school to listen to a recorder concert and then off to preschool and then helping kids with homework would reduce me to a basket case before bedtime, but it did.