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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,231
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,231 |
You're the clear winner, Gerri! But when I read that, I was struck how that description could apply to so many here and it reinforced the danger of trying to diagnose from the printed word.
My last rheumy spent a long time feeling my joints. He was looking for a "spongy" feeling you get from hidden inflammation. You can't get that from books or the internet.
Wendy
Rheumatoid Arthritis Methotrexate, Celebrex, Plaquenil
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,524
Gold_AS_Kicker
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Gold_AS_Kicker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,524 |
Wendy
My initial reaction to that would be:
Supporting someone effectively requires an understanding of what that person needs. That could be any number of things - a straight answer to a straight question, a gentle push, a big kick up the AS! ,a shoulder to cry on or a voice of reason etc etc.
This is almost impossible to do unless you are face to face, in my opinion.
I have been trying to support someone from a distance (over the phone) over something ongoing and painful. It is hit and miss to say the least.
When I have been in the company of this person, however, and am experiencing first hand the emotion and day-to-day living with the problem, my perceptions of the problem and way of supporting the person are completely different. Not to mention clarity in what is appropriate and needed support.
I always think if in doubt... ask lots of questions before you jump in with both feet and potentially flatten someone - so to speak.
Bad advice can be worse than no advice at all.
Always be sure of your motives.
Never underestimate what effect your words can have on others.
Ok, that's it from me.
KickAS and help others do the same!
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,231
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Joined: Dec 2008
Posts: 5,231 |
Good points, Tink. I'm hoping others will jump in.
Wendy
Rheumatoid Arthritis Methotrexate, Celebrex, Plaquenil
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,279
Copper_AS_Kicker
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Copper_AS_Kicker
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,279 |
i hope i stay on subject here.. my take on this subject also with some thoughts on your all's replies. i think this disease and others like it are a living nightmare that we cant awake from. Dx or not, pain is pain, support is support, even if its not the answer/reply someone is seeking. we all have the right to live our life the way we want [to a certain degree...you know what i mean]. if that means we doctor ourselves with knowledge/research, look to 'professionals', or a combination of both. what ever fulfills us is what we should be doing. in the end...all that really matters is ..'are you happy?'
also, the fact that most of us have been failed by doctors at some point so its, i feel, only natural to seek your own answers. the only one who truly knows your pain is you and its instict that we fight for our survival.
AS & Fibro. NSD + no sugar
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,524
Gold_AS_Kicker
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Gold_AS_Kicker
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,524 |
Thanks, Wendy. Just thought I'd see what the word actually means... Dictionary definition: Support 1. To bear the weight of, especially from below. 2. To hold in position so as to keep from falling, sinking, or slipping. 3. To be capable of bearing; withstand: "His flaw'd heart . . . too weak the conflict to support" (Shakespeare). 4. To keep from weakening or failing; strengthen: The letter supported him in his grief. 5. To provide for or maintain, by supplying with money or necessities. 6. To furnish corroborating evidence for: New facts supported her story. 7. a. To aid the cause, policy, or interests of: supported her in her election campaign. b. To argue in favor of; advocate: supported lower taxes. 8. To endure; tolerate: "At supper there was such a conflux of company that I could scarcely support the tumult" (Samuel Johnson). 9. To act in a secondary or subordinate role to (a leading performer).
Last edited by Tinkerbell; 06/13/10 09:21 PM.
KickAS and help others do the same!
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,269
Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,269 |
in the end...all that really matters is ..'are you happy? I couldn't agree more...as long as that happiness does not infringe upon the happiness of those around you...
Age 7- Kidney Necrosis Age 11-Bursitis Age 14-Costo Age 17-Psoriasis Age 32-Thoracic Outlet Syndrome Age 33-Sacroilitis Age 35-Interstitial Cystitis Age 40-AS Age 44-Fibro Age 44-PsA Age 45-MS Age 46-Sjogrens Age 46-Raynauds Age 47-PF
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,233
Imperial_AS_Kicker
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Imperial_AS_Kicker
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 3,233 |
Hi Wendy: I've asked my good friend Tarzan to swing in here, and give his perspective to those questions you just made, and added two more, relevant from earlier threads: Does support mean that asking questions about statements that are posted on KA is not ok? Is it unsupportive to question assumptions or misinformation? Is it unsupportive to suggest other ways of looking at things? TARZAN: QUESTIONS GOOD! OTHER WAYS LOOKING, GOOD! Or is support supposed to be unqualified belief in everything written in KA? TARZAN: TARZAN NOT UNDERSTAND QUESTION! Is it ok to disagree with people? TARZAN: DISAGREE GOOD! Does questioning someone's diagnosis actually mean you are not supportive of that person? Or could it be seen as helpful to suggest other ways of thinking? TARZAN: QUESTIONS GOOD! Is support just "there, there" or can it be intelligent debate? TARZAN: TARZAN NOT UNDERSTAND QUESTION! WONDER IF WHITE WOMAN DRINK FIRE WATER?! (new question): Is it okay to characterize someone else's illness as "moderate" "severe' or "slight"? TARZAN: JUDGING BAD! OVER INTERNET, MORE BAD!! (new question): Is it helpful to suggest to other people that they should stop searching for their own diagnosis, and simply enjoy life? TARZAN: TARZAN SAY EACH MONKEY MUST MAKE OWN CHOICE!!
Dow
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,269
Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 6,269 |
Dow, are you reading the same posts that everybody else is? It's gotten so radical here that you can hardly say anything anymore...how are we supposed to talk about AS if you get mad everytime we talk about AS...
Age 7- Kidney Necrosis Age 11-Bursitis Age 14-Costo Age 17-Psoriasis Age 32-Thoracic Outlet Syndrome Age 33-Sacroilitis Age 35-Interstitial Cystitis Age 40-AS Age 44-Fibro Age 44-PsA Age 45-MS Age 46-Sjogrens Age 46-Raynauds Age 47-PF
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Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,371
Colonel_AS_Kicker
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Colonel_AS_Kicker
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,371 |
Hi Wendy,
"I was struck how that description could apply to so many here and it reinforced the danger of trying to diagnose from the printed word."
I have MS & Lupus symptoms and tested positive for the definitive test for Lupus (had high DsDNA). Found out recently that Porphyria, is the only other disease that will give a false positive for the definitive test for Lupus. So many of the autoimmune diseases are so intertwined.
My MRI showed no MS lesions. My neurological symptoms are common for MS, Lupus and Porphyria. My Lupus symptoms - the malar rash, the false positive test for Lupus, and many others are all common with Porphyria. My doctors are stating that most likely I have Acute Intermittant Porphyria, with porphyria of the skin. Until Megan mentioned Porphyria, I had forgotten all about my sister diagnoses of the disease. Then I did research, and then mentioned Porphyria to my Rheumy, who ran with it.
Try to get a diagnoses when doctors try to use the written word to diagnose. Not many doctors know about Porphyria. Many doctors see my symptoms - so I get bounced back and forth with the Lupus and MS testing. Finally I believe I am on the right track, even though I might have to go out to Alberta, to a specialist for Porphyria (specialist away to Africa until end of June) and my Derma unable to do UV testing until end of November.
My Spondylitis has been diagnosed. (PsA or AS) still up in the air. Likely going back to AS. Have visiable damage at the SI joints, and I am HLA B27+.
Hugs Gerri
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Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,190
Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
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Very_Addicted_to_AS_Kickin
Joined: Nov 2003
Posts: 8,190 |
I keep looking at Kev's post and keep thinking...my names not in there...my names not in there..sheesh you think you know a guy, tell him your deepest darkest secrets  and he tell me I am his BFF  and then when it comes to putting it down MY name is no where to be found...maybe I will respond to the post later once I hit the names I simply could not get past it 
Speak kindly, Live simply, Care deeply, Love generously, and BLAH, HA, HA, LOUDLY! every chance you get.
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