Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion Friends and Family Support Group Hey

Hi Kevin,
Unfortunately, That's the same way it is over here too. I get some questions like "If you want to work what is stopping you from getting a job?". Wanting to work and being able to work are 2 different things.

We should put together a list of the unusual questions that people ask us.

Hope you're doing well
Take care,
James

James, I think that "list" is a great idea. Actually I think we should write a book. This post of yours hits home to just about every AS'er. This is a good discussion for everyone. I hope more find your post here. In todays society people are so wrapped up in themselves, they don't know how to truely love their fellow man anymore. They don't know how to show true love, compassion or take the time to really get to know a person with a chronic disease. It takes too much energy for them to take the time. I doesn't fit into their busy "me" world so they condem those of us who struggle everyday hoping we will disappear. This is their problem not ours. People who treat us this way are deeply troubled and are not capable of true compassion. It hurts to be viewed or treated this way but just keep reminding yourself that this is their problem not yours. We have this real desire to be accepted for who we are and want others to see us as the strong willed person adapting and continuing to live through the awful progressive changes we have to endure. Insted we continually get hit with unexcepting personalities that only add to our struggle. James, just remember it is not others that we need to please, it is ourselves. I could go on with more, but I will stop here.
Be gentle with yourself
Cindy

That's very well put Cindy and very accurate.

Hi James
I think the situation with these "friends" says way more about them than it does about you
You strike me as a really good guy, James, who thinks about other people and does not want to make trouble with anyone.
If I were you I would answer these jibes by saying - yeah fine my disability gets me out of doing the chores! (that is said sarcastically btw!) but what about the things I want to do, don't you think I would do those things if I could!
Give these guys a wide-berth for a bit, perhaps they might find something more productive to do with THEIR time!!!

Bottom line, try not to take any of their comments on board because as we all know THEY ARE NOT TRUE - you cope with your AS fantastically well are travelling a difficult road and making the best of it. Kudos to you for that

Hey James i don't remember it was from last March in Mexico,me and my wife(29 years in July)shots and beers to many to count.my daughter went to bowling green.

Tommy P.

P.S.CLEVELAND ROCKS!!!

OH and Kevin THE BAD BOY KICK AS M/C don't need no stinking bus


Tommy P.


P.S.if it doesn't hurt it must be good

Well you will need some sort of transport to get you around wont you in your delicate state,

Hi Tinkerbell,
Thanks for your reply too.
Too bad it can't get me out of all of the chores lol. I tried to take a week off of being around the usual crowd and it helped to relieve a lot of steam.
Take care,
James

Great news! So glad to hear it

James, honestly, people can be such idiots. I'm sorry you have someone in your life that makes you feel this way. Personally, if you feel you have to hide how you feel about the insensitivity, then the friendship is already impacted and maybe a heart-to-heart is in order.

In the meantime, come here and vent all you need!

Warm hugs,