Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Just Need Some Virtual Hugs

Rum, you know me well...and I know you are right but i just can't until we hit the deductible, I know it makes no sense but being here or going to the hospital running up a huge bill and then coming home would be about as stressful does that make sense?

I know that ALL of you are right and I love you all for it and if it were any of you i would probly show up on your doorstep and escort you there myself...I am really not trying to be dramatic..but knowing our situation, so much we need, the kids need..I just can't put that on my family BUT the EOB should be in any day now and then I can find and go to a Cardiologist.

I think part of it is Im afraid of what they will find out. I do know that it isn't blockage because all of my cholsterol, tryglicerydes (sorry sp) all of that has come back with excellent numbers. I dont have diabetes those numbers are great too. Part of it could be the extra weight I have lost 40lbs but need to lose more but even skinny people have heart failure....I know in my heart something is wrong and even though I try not to think about it i dont sit here and constantly think Im gonna die or Im gonna need a heart transplant either of which could happen...

Im hoping it is something that can be fixed or at least taken care of and still have a long life. I need to find a Cardiologist that specializes in CHF THAT might be a problem Im not one to be brushed off..lol you all know that Im feisty, spunky, speak my mind and I dont care if it's a Doc or not if I feel I am being dismissed or not doing enough he is gonna hear about it.

Hopefully it wont be much longer, one good thing is being the faux Dr. that I am..lol with the experience with my kids, the daycare, helping my Mom with dialysis for 8 years I do have a little knowledge on things and I know what to look for if I am really in trouble and if I couldnt take care of it here (at home) or I thought I might die or I was going into cardiac arrest then there would be no hesitation and Bill, and Tori and even Ethan knows that just because Mom is sick.

Thanks for the support you know how much it means to me!

Hugs,

Lisa

Wendy,

You my little Angel and I love you for it, think about you often..thanks for the support!

Hugs,

Lisa

Nette,

You are so smart, it's funny because I call it journaling and I have a TON of them..lol

I have journaled since a teen and have journals for all of my kids, the grandbabies, gripe journal, love journal about every kind you can imagine it DOES work wonders..I dont know why but when you write it down it's like somehow maybe your mind releases some of it and then Im not so stressed.

I would recommend EVERYONE do it...my kids are fascinated with theirs I keep theirs in my nightstand and some nights we just lay in bed and read them, things when they were young that we all forgot and that helped us remember...I dont know Im sappy I have just always thought if I died early I always wanted my kids to know how I felt about them, loved them regardless..and it helps when you are stressed.

Thanks for the idea though,

Hugs

Inky,

Thanks so much, it means the world to me!

Hugs

My Michelle,

Thank you my Sista from anotha Motha..lol just doesn't look right on the computer does it..but you know what I mean..lol

Hugs

Ok Dow..now I know I should get this but remember not as much oxygen to the brain..lol

lightbulb, mean person, rolling person, good person, hug, hug...hmmm

The light bulb busted and it was done by the mean person rolling into the dining room with the nice persons fork???

Explanation please???..lol

Sue,

I can always count on my girl, means the world to me!

Hope your doing ok.

Hugs

Kev,

Your my guy!

So many of them how could I not be cheered up big bum and all..lol

Hope you are doing ok!

Hugs

glad you are doing a bit better today, but like everyone else, very worried about you. i know what you are saying about the money, but you only have one heart, and was thinking, maybe at least while you're waiting for the deductible to kick in, maybe you could find a cardiologist, set an appointment for when you think you can go. just worried about you, that's all! with heart disease running in my family, and my stepfather having heart problems, i know how serious they can be.

more huggs and warm thoughts

Hey, I have an idea!

I will devilishly send over to this gfin'...

...some hugs!