Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group OMG I am so negative.

Please feel free to skip over this rant because that is what it is. I don't know if it is just from the pain or it could be also a combination of crap I have had to deal with in the medical profession.

I don't know but I am so negative and very angry/aggressive.
I am not normally like this.
Does anyone else find they get like this when in a bad flare?

I really think I need to get treatment for this pain but I have lost all faith in doctors and the medical industry. I am worried that if I seek treatment all that will happen is I will have many hours of waiting having to sit in a chair (I can only sit for a few minutes) therefore my pain and stiffness will only be worse. Then I will likely be given a shot of morphine and sent on my way only to be in a worse position when the medication wears off.

This negativity is almost as bad as the pain. Grrr I hate being so wound up like this.

Hello Aussie girl...Totally get it!...I think when your are in that much pain...it's just too much effort to be positive. I get exactly the same way!...Hope you get some relief soon!!...Hopefully your Rheumi will call you back with a plan....Have u already tried biologics?.....

Very gentle HUG to you.
Laurel

Oh good I am not alone.
Yes tried Enbrel but then started to react to it. It was causing my heart to play up. Can't try another until I get seen by the cardiologist again. On the waiting list but no idea when I will get an appointment. TBH in a weird round about way I am hoping I am like this on Monday when I go for my pre-op appointment for knee surgery. Maybe then if another department sees what is going on I might find someone who can help me.
But on the other hand I want the pain gone it is getting to much to handle.
Usually by the time I get in to see my rheumy I am starting to feel better. Murphys law lol

Oh my dear, you are soooooo not alone. I have a great medical team that works well to keep me comfortable and I am so lucky that finding pain management isn't an issue. That said I still get angry and negative during flare ups. Just went through that the last 2 weeks and I am impossible to live with.
Good luck with your surgery and I hope things will improve for you soon.

Cindy

Nope, definitely not alone. I know pain brings out the worst in me as well...
I think you need to let people know how you feel, that's what i find hard, i bottle everything up and then people do not understand why i'm being arsy. if they know you're in pain, they can adapt or understand better.

When really bad, I'm too consumed by the pain to have any feelings really. So if you are feeling like this, all hope is not lost! Having these strong emotions is a good thing, I think. When I'm doing moderately bad, then yeh, I'm grumpy. I was so peeved at the medical establishment before getting some help; now if I think about it, I still am, so i try not to think about it.

Just lay down in the middle of the floor of their waiting room; announce that you can not sit! Well, maybe their floor is too hard, so take an air mattress, blow it up there and camp out! OK, just trying to cheer you up, but probably not working too well.

Hang in there. I do know how you feel. But gotta hang in there cause that's all we've really got.

LOL thanks Sue
I had a very long hot shower (We have no bath well I do have a spa bath but it has been sitting for nearly 5 yrs now waiting for me to do the new bathroom) That was back when I still had goods weeks as opposed to good days.
But after the shower I do feel a little better. I just try not to think about the water bill.

All I can say is I hope winter comes and goes real quickly it isn't even that cold and I feel like this.

You're not alone because it seems I live your emotions, pain and frustrations everyday - with no help from drugs, or doctors suggesting any kind or relief.

Sending many gentle hugs, and Kisses

Gerri & Makaylah PS: Makaylah is sending the kisses.

Thanks Gerri & Makalaylah nice and slobbery, although a little dissapointed no kisses from you Gerri. hahaha.

I have not been around for a while I hope you and Makalayah are doing well.

Ok sending kisses as well lol

Gerri