Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group OMG I am so negative.

You could absolutely be describing me! I don't know how many times I have ended up getting really angry/aggressive in my GP's office. It took me a long time to realise that it was pain that was doing that. I tried to tell GP that if I ever came in angry, she should immediately ask me if I am taking enough pain meds, but she seems to forget. I haven't been quite as bad since I increased my codeine though. Used to only take 25 mg a couple of times a day. now I take 60 mg at least 3 times a day and sometimes four. I really hate how I have become dependant on Codeine to get me through the day without getting so angry, but right now I don't have any options, so I try not to think about it.

I hope you find at least one person in your health system who really recognises what you are going through and will fight your corner.

what you describe has been creepin' up on me for years......my Doc has now informed me that I am suffering from pain related issues,anger,depression and anxiety. Don't ignore it....

Cemc
watch the codeine girl it's so hard to come off and it IS addictive....nice mellow buzz but there is a price to pay

reduced heart rate and constipation for starters.....take care

ps if you have cause to come off codeine for some reason or another you will think you have been kicked around a football park

I tried to reply before but am having problems posting, seems to only work if I "quote" your post....

You are so not alone Aussiegirl, I feel exactly the same. I swear the seats in the waiting room of the pain clinic and rheumy I go to are the most uncomfy seats EVER!! I usually end up just pacing round the waiting room - I've given up caring what people think. I get woken by the pain in the early hours, so I'm tired, then I eat rubbish to keep me awake then feel guilty for eating rubbish that I know isn't helping my body, then I get cranky at myself and then p*ssed off at the whole world!! I think it's a "normal" part of chronic pain but that doesn't make it any easier to deal with!

Sending you hugs!

sorry to hear you had a reaction to Enbrel!...Hope you get into the Cardiologist pronto.
and I hope the knee surgery goes ahead....Does heat help at all?....I have a great heating pad that I crank up and lay in my recliner...when it,s really bad...gives a bit of relief. So sorry to hear your going thru such a rough patch....

I hear you on the Rheumi appointments....I just tired to see mine...no appointments till July!?!...Thankfully she was open to a phone consult....not exactly the same though...By the time I see her in the fall things will likely of settled again...

Take care. I will think healing thoughts.
Laurel

Well, I don't think you're old enough for it to be menopausal in nature. Honestly, there are days when I should be locked up because I am so very angry and sad and moody. And that adds to my pain and my stress levels, which increases pain no matter that I've been on biologics for years now.

There is a direct (proved by research) link between pain and our moods. Pain left untreated or under-treated creates emotions that can only politely be termed 'difficult'. It also causes depression. And longterm untreated depression causes physical pain (just as a side note). It's all part of the cycle of pain and difficult on everyone around us, not just on us.



You need to find a way to break the cycle. It can begin and be broken at any point. You might have to do it repeatedly every day, but it will eventually become easier.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. Sometimes, it's just all too much, isn't it.

Love and Warm Hugs,

Hi Trish

Hope you are having a better day today. It seems to be a constant struggle to not let the stress of living in constant pain get to me. I remind myself that it is only me and not the world itself. The world is not going to change for me so I must change my thinking. I take a deep breath and move on. Like you said,you need to get the pain under control first. I hope you are able to do that soon. Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Oh and BTW, when I am thinking negative thoughts I use a key word over and over to break the negative thought process. I just keep saying the word till I am not thinking negative thoughts. It doesn't work every time but it works enough times that it is worth a try. My key word is "orange". I know it sounds stupid but that's what I do.

Ok I feel a lot better knowing we are all crazy and it's not just me lol.

Cemc I might go back and see my GP and see what he can do to help. It is funny he was getting really weird with me for a while but then he went on holidays and now he is back so much happier and very helpful. I guess we all go a little crazy and maybe I should take a leaf from his book and take a holiday.

Saltire I think I may need to deal with the depression and anxiety, I am sure that is one of the things that makes the pain "feel" worse. Although I am getting really good at stopping thr anxiety from going to panic attack. Thank god as that was really scary.

SUPNut I often wonder if it was someones sick joke when they found the most uncomfortable chairs possible and stuck them in ER and rheumy office. Surely whoever did it really wasn't thinking about the patients. Thanks for the hugs.

Laurel64 Yes heat works. The odd thing I find is though if I go to sleep with the heat pads and hot water bottles I wake up stiffer. Maybe because I sleep better which means I move less during the night which could lead to the increased stiffness. Arrr Catch 22.

Inanna No probably not old enough for menopause yet I wouldn't know due the hormones I take to prevent monthlies from happening. (I have endo) Have had some hot flushes though lol.
Yes that diagram is very accurate. To that I would add my own diagram in words because I have forgotten how to add the pic.

Disease pain, guilt from not be able to do much, distract myself by taking kids here/there/everywhere, Over do it, depression and guilt because I pushed too hard and will now pay for it. Then back to the start to complete the cycle.

Jeff yep you are crazy too. "orange" oooookkkk LOL but seriously I do get what you are saying. As you can see I am feeling a bit better. I can always tell I have turned the corner at least mentally when my sarcastic side comes back.
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I have gotten through my boys birthday so now the only thin I have to concentrate on is myself and knee op on the 9th. The op has already been cancelled twice on the doctors end so I guess part of the reason I haven't gotten treatment for this flare is because I am scared it might give them a reason to put the op of again but then in the next breath I think it would be good for them to see how much pain I am in.
I still think the biggest cause for the anxiety is comming from the fear that I will be treated like a hypercondriact (sp). I am sure you all know what I am talking about.

Thank you everyone for your support and hugs it really does help a lot.

CEMC
I PMd you regarding your PM but alas the man responsible for operating the PM machine is off sick...apparently

will post PM when said wee man recovers

all the best
John

Woman poleeeese,

You know this a good, safe place to rant, cry, kick and scream because we are all trying to Kick AS! We all know that kind of pain that makes you just a tad crazy and nothing works. When our Dr.s whom we rely on, are vague and unhelpful and most of all our poor bodies that have turned on us. This all equal's...A Whole Lotta Venting!!!

How was the pre-op?

We are there in spirit with you! Routing you on and feeling your pain and don't forget that. You are not alone. You might not have been on here for awhile but look, we are already on page 2 of your favorite people in the world right?

Yes you are all my favorite people.

Pre op went well Pea. My BP was up a little 142/83 and my heart rate was also up but my eco looked good. Bothe the nurse and the anesthesitist (sp) said that was more then likely caused from the pain I am in. So that good news and I must admit that news alone has helped me feel better as I am not as scared that my heart is going to give out on me.

The good thing is they were able to see how much pain I am in and how much I need the op. They have said they have noted that on my fie and that I have already been cancelled twice now so the chances of then cancelling the op again is decreasing but still not a garentee. Fingers crossed it all goes well come the 9th.