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Oct 6th, 2025
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Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,904
Captain_AS_Kicker
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OP
Captain_AS_Kicker
Joined: Oct 2001
Posts: 1,904 |
I've been fighting with myself all afternoon as to whether or not to post this for you all to read.I need to get some feed back from you ,who ever wishes to talk to me. Today , I went through ,what I call a bad experience.When at the Dr's office he asked me to talk about my pain.I've been having a difficult time with a constant burning spine.My ribs feel like some are broken most of the time and my chest is in AS pain like never before.It has been like this for months now and it's getting quite hard to endure.Don't worry ,i'm not about to do something drastic about it.What I think is so hard to tell you is that ,while describing this the the dr.,....well...I broke down an cried.It is not like me to do that so it felt very awkward for me.I' m the kind of person that needs to tell someone .Gotta get it off my chest ,you know. When I came home from the dr's , the only person arround to talk to was my KA friend on MSN.Thankyou for getting me through the afternoon Debbie.You were there when I realy needed someone.Talking to you gives me enough courage to post for support tonight. We never talked about me posting this.It is something that I wanted to do,knowing that I have even more friends here at KA. Even now i'm not sure if I should click on the Continue button. Ray(Icky)  
![[Linked Image]](https://www.kickas.org/images/upload/Copy of IchabodCrane From-Debbie.gif)
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Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,754
Peeping_AS_Kicker
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Peeping_AS_Kicker
Joined: Nov 2001
Posts: 1,754 |
(((ICKY)))
Not even the strongest person can hold it all in forever! You're not alone (should say WE are not alone) in crying... Thanks for sharing this, Ray!
********
Kristin
********
[purple] Kristin [/purple]
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,616
Platinum_AS_Kicker
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Platinum_AS_Kicker
Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 1,616 |
Oh Ray! You are the most beautiful person ... and it makes me so sad to see you like this... we all need each other ... that's why we keep coming back to KA day after day... for the love & support of our KA family. The pain is so real... and you would know that better than anyone... therefore breaking down is a process we all go through from time to time... I most certainly do... and I would hate to think that you would want to carry such a load on your own... I'm so glad that you did hit that 'continue' button so that we can show our love and support to a truly wonderful man such as yourself... To me you are so much of what KA is about... you represent love, understanding & support... for which you are the very first to offer someone else... so I am glad that now I can offer you the same back!!!!!! Thankyou Ray... for sharing yourself with us!  just imagine it's the girl giving the little boy flowers... that's the best I could find... LOL Take Care
Ann 
[align center][fuchsia]  I travelled through a strange path to get there... but made it in the end ~ M.C.L.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,739
SENSational_AS_Kicker
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SENSational_AS_Kicker
Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 3,739 |
Oh Ray
Here you are allways helping everybody else and suffering quietly yourself.!!!
I have cried at the dr office before - It is such an emotional thing when we finally talk about stuff - especially if you are feeling scared as you must be.
I am rooting for you - I hope the Dr. can help. You deserve all the help in the world - you are a #1 Sweetheart.
Bless You
Maggie
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,413 Likes: 1
Imperial_AS_Kicker
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Imperial_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 3,413 Likes: 1 |
Ray!
I totally understand....when someone wants to listen and you really begin describing your pain and life, well, it can and does sometime lead to tears.....I've shed them as I'm sure most everyone here has at some point! I'm glad you got to speak with Debbie afterwards!
It may have been awkward since it was the doctor you were with, and we can be conditioned to speak and act so objectively and downright stiff in front of them....but hopefully the doc connected and understood....I know I sure do......I had a bad crying jag late at night recently that woke my roomie, who came into the bathroom to find me hunched over in tears, and I had to explain.....
Just know that you expressed your honest emotion, which can help....it's when we're not straight up with doctors or others that can hurt us....I made sure I was in a flare the last time I went to the doc, as the time before I felt ok and didn't really complain and they thought I shouldn't be there!
You ROCK, Icky!
Peace
Linc
Linc O'Brien
Linc O'Brien
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 3,580
Captain_AS-Kicker
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Captain_AS-Kicker
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 3,580 |
Ray, I understand your reluctance to post. You , like me, seem to always want to project the big, brave, jovial, positive front. Sometimes it don't work, you gotta let loose.I've had a lot of ups and downs this year as most of you know. This place gives me my ups  Ray, hang in there buddy, and I challenge you to beat me to the first joke post tomorrow I can't say that I can empathise with the rib pain, but having asthma for the last 20 years, I sure can tell you what it's like to not be able to catch your breath. It sucks. I'll catch up with you tomorrow, it's after midnight now. Ian P.S. I'm glad Deb was there, if you check my profile, you will see that I am iwood51 on MSN, Yahoo and AOL IM, and I'm usually on all day at work. Holler if you want. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. --Benjamin Franklin 
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 430
Black_Belt_AS_Kicker
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Black_Belt_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 430 |
Ray, What a refreshing post to read. As a guy that doesn't share my feeling, concerns and fears well (can you tell....? Does the name ANON4NOW give you any hints..?  LOL ) I can see how hard it would be to make a post like this. Now I found it refreshing as I'm sure there's a lot of guys here that feel the same as you do and feel to break down and cry anywhere isn't a real "blokey" thing to do..... but I have come to realize that just being a guy doesn't mean we can't cry or reach for help. What you've done here is what every member of this group should do when the times get tough.... reach out to the people here that know what you're going through and know the lows that occur. They, most of all, can help support you as they know where you're coming from. Thanks for hitting that "continue" button... perhaps more people will let their feelings out in the future so that a great group like this can rally together to once again lift the spirits of a "family" member. Take care..... ANON4NOW"Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery but today is a gift, that's why it's THE PRESENT" 
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Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,320
Colonial_AS_Kicker
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Colonial_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2001
Posts: 2,320 |
Awwwwwww....Icky.... .....I'm so glad to come here this evening and find out that you have shared your pain. I'm sure there is not a person on this site who has not shed a tear at some time or another fighting this disease. It is certainly nothing for you to feel bad about. Gosh you should see me and my husband when we watch a good love story...we pass each other the kleenex all the time.....I'm surrounded by cry babies over here Icky!....as I told you earlier today....I'd rather you talk and shed a tear...than have you become angry and bitter.....so cry all you like....we all have our up and down days....I'm so happy I was around today when you needed someone to talk to....so let me send a little love your way tonight...tomorrow is a new day Icky..and we are all right here with you...
sleep well tonight....& have sweet dreams 
 hugs....Debbie....http://www.geocities.com/debb92688
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 172
First_Degree_AS_Kicker
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First_Degree_AS_Kicker
Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 172 |
Icky, as I've only been here a short while, I can't say I know your story, but I do know rib pain. And I want to say that it is refreshing to see a man that can share his feelings. I have a very hard time sharing those kinds of days with anyone....as a result, people think I am so inspirational etc etc. If they only knew. Good for you....and maybe you helped your doctor be a little more human. We're here for you whenever you need to talk. I do hope you feel better soon. Leona  consider yourself hugged! Love like a teddy bear, with imperfect eyesight and arms open wide.
consider yourself hugged! Love like a teddy bear, with imperfect eyesight and arms open wide.
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,664
Platinum_AS_Kicker
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Platinum_AS_Kicker
Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 1,664 |
Dear Ray, I feel so terrible hearing your situation now, don't know how to help You want me to fly over to your place and give you a HUG? Please take care and be patience, wish you can feel better soon. Hugs, Sinta
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