Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Sad

Oh Ray - it hurts to know you have been in this awful pain for so long. It is at times like these, I wish for a magic wand, and then,... poof,... you could be pain free! You are so deserving - I pray you will be feeling better very soon.

I have to think it is good your Doctor cares enough to ask, (as hard as that can be to answer sometimes) and I also think your answer was simply honest,... hope he is better able to help you by hearing it.

Take good care of yourself today Ray.

mig

I can't add anything that hasn't already been said Ray. I'm just happy you've decided to click "continue" also! You know, when I first found this site, I sat here at the computer and cried. I was so happy to see some of the people here feeling like me. (Happy to know I wasn't alone)
When you mentioned your ribs, that's exactly how I felt for years until taking Enbrel. My ribcage was so sore, I had to hold back all sneezing because I felt that my ribcage would open up if I did sneeze.
Thanks for opening up like this and please do so more often if you feel the need to. Many come here for advice and support so it's people like you that make it possible for others to relate to their problems and needs.
You are one in a million Ray and know that you are very much appreciated here.
Hope tomorrow is a better day.
mars

Hi --
Have you ever read Susan Sontag? She wrote, Illness as a Metaphor. Your comments remind me of an article she wrote describing the unspoken camaraderie between those who intimately know pain and frustration (she suffers from MS). She also writes about the paradox of illness: How weakness is a source of strength. How disease/illness can bring a person more awareness/mindfulness. Icky's post -- and the follow-up remarks -- exemplify several of those values that this disease can never subdue: sincerity, compassion, and understanding. Peace.

very sad

Hi Ray........
Your post was so emotional and i know it was quite difficult for you to get the post out.....but I do know what it feels like to have to get it off your chest. I am grateful that this site is here and that you have been so wonderful to myself as welll as many others during our hard times. You are always a tough little Tonka truck......just keep on going and going......even though you have so much pain. I admire your strength for being strong and for being human which means sometimes getting it off your chest and shedding some much needed tears. I know there have been many times in the past in chat that you have patiently listened to my complaints!

I broke down in tears at my last Rheumy visit. All it took was for him to ask me how things were going.....and I just cracked like the mighty boiled egg!! I could not hold the pain anymore. My brain wanted to rant out "Bad PAIN, real BAD pain" but I could not get the words to come out........all that came out were streams of tears. My heart ached and there was a huge lump in my throat. I could not contain myself because my mind just raced over and over "It hurts, it hurts real bad, and I want it to STOP for once, just once slow down enough for me to enjoy a day the way I had before this disease came into my life"

I try to be tough many times.....but I know sometimes that I need to get it off my chest....and I start to tear up and Art helps me get it off my chest. I know that with AS pain free days are few and far between....but as your friend I pray that you have a few painless days and I keep you in my thoughts and hope for the very best for you my dear friend. I hope that you get to feeling a little better soon. Whenever you see a little ladybug zipping around .......remember it's me coming to keep an eye on you !

Hugs from the Ladybug

Toodles!
Angie