Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Foul Mood

Johnny

Sorry you're feeling this bad and I really hope it passes

I don't understand why you have had 'such a horrible record with romance' ... especially when I think of the way you come across online

But if you believe you're going to be alone and can't make it in a relationship just cos of previous bad choices just remember that "Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved." (William Jennings Bryan)

Hope you're feeling better and more creative soon.

PS My dad's 82 and still going strong so I wouldn't write the ol' girl off just yet



Take care
Justine

Yeah you do Johnny, you have about 1200 of them. That is why we are here pal. To help each other up when we fall down. Are you working tonight, or can I call you?

Hugs
Lori

Hi Johnny,

Well I hope you never feel alone in your battles.... you have a lot of people here at KickAS that care for you!!! Many of us experience the same sleepless nights with pain or difficulty with walking due to inflamation... I myself have had to give up basketball, soccer and volleyball for several years now.... I never thought I would be able to live without playing basketball I loved it so much, but here I am.

Do I worry about not being able to work or complete daily tasks because of pain in the future.... yes the thought has crossed my mind, but attitude is everything and if I dwell on it I have lost already. I chose to focus on what I can still do.... there are many others that have it much worse than I do in this world.

Yes it is difficult when you feel alone... I just moved to Arizona in the last year, my family all lives back in Wisconsin where I grew up. I do have a girlfriend now for 2 months.... I do not know if she is "the one", but she is drawn to me mostly because of my attitude and how I chose to be proactive with my AS.

I also take strength in the fact I know Jesus died on the cross for me and I will have eternal life.... my time and pain on Earth will be short in comparison to everlasting life which awaits me. I never feel alone in this world when I read from the Gospel.... I feel so warm on the inside, I wish everyone had this feeling. I actually turned back to the Bible after AS, I had turned away from God for years prior.

Take care and feel free to PM me as well,

Tim

You're not gonna like hearing this but I *DO* know how you feel, man. I also have no one....when my mom goes...what's left? I also have no SO, no siblings, am not close to my family in any way, and I'm terrified. I have a degree which I can't use.

That's what irritated me about other arthritis groups I've written to (NOT KickAS). No one who has someone to support them could *possibly IMAGINE* what it feels like to be totally alone with some unpredictable arthritic monster. Internet relationships are great, but they ARE NOT enough.

Somehow, I also believe in God. I try EVERY SINGLE DAY to resolve my physical situation with my belief in God's goodness. I try very often to resolve pain in general with the idea of God.

Long nights I've sat up asking the Sovereign of the Universe....WHY? Why, why, why? Why does it take years, even decades, for the great people on here to get docs to believe them, let alone get diagnosed? Why can't people in chronic pain just get their disease stopped and their pain eased? Why do people end up alone? The good thing is I've been able to spend a lot of time studying Tanach (Jewish Bible...but I'm not Jewish...it's Jewish law for non-Jews....long story ). Getting to know exactly WHO the SotU is has really enlightened me as to what He expects.

Sometimes the SotU brings us to a point where we DON'T know what to expect, or to give, or to do. This is exactly where we are supposed to be, I'm sure. I don't know why, but that's what the sages say. Bottom line, all the "happy shiney" thinking isn't going to change that people suffer one iota. I believe, but I respectfully want to know WHY.

I don't know what to tell you. I was going to post something similar to what you wrote but I couldn't do it....I would have been completely flamed off another group for saying something like that. I even felt ashamed for thinking how I did...I mean, YOU don't have to feel ashamed, that was my own thing. But it seems that whatever people throw at AS kickers, they can take it!!! I commend you....you had a lot of guts writing what you did here

Nevertheless, we are all here to listen whether you feel the need to share a great story, poem or vent about your rotten days.

Rox
http://www.geocities.com/artisan1998.geo/index.html

Johnny, I'm gonna start whistlin' dixie in a moment!!!

Dude, do you know what it's like to live in NYC at age 39 and make 30 grand a year because you chose music and made nothing and then worked at the zoo??? I love my job, and still play guitar, but what woman that I'd go for would even consider me when they can nab someone who makes 200 grand??? Even 80 grand a year??!!!
But you know what, what some would call left overs can be the best thing going....I've dated the rich, the poor, the middle class, the freaks...lived with some of them as well....did they work out, no, but I hurt like hell and got through it and you can too...and my AS kicked my as in a number of relationships before I was diagnosed...now at least I have an excuse when I say "not tonight, honey.." Imagine my embarrassment before diagnosis!!!

I do not believe that you will be alone for the rest of your life!!!! This is a moment, and you will come through to something better, I really think that....You have the gift of gab, you are interested in many ideas, you will find someone who is into your mind, and they will look past your AS....believe me, it's happened in my family....my dad had polio, and yet he attracted women who could see him for him....and is now happily married...and my mom remarried a person much older than her, and she had to deal with his health issues and plan his funeral....

The point is, YOU rock, and you will find someone, because you have alot going for you, whether you know it or not....life takes it's twists and turns, and I too will feel like I'm drowning, but just know that you have friends at KickAS, and we're listening...

now, ROCK ON...
Peace
Linc

Linc O'Brien

Hey Loz!
That's gonna be me racing across Central Park in some crazy electric wheelchair...hopefully very far in the future....gotta love your story, keeps things in perspective...

See, I've been to Blues concerts where these older gents would strut in with capes and hats and canes, and I've always thought, heck, if I had to limp around every day, why not do it like BB King (he does not have one yet, but he kicks AS)...he plays his shows and stands for the first couple songs, and then sits down...and still rocks...

Peace
Linc

Linc O'Brien

I hear the loneliness in your voice. I think that kind of pain is worse in many ways than the AS pain. I remember being single and I remember that it was NOT fun. I would come home from work, where I felt great, and then felt awful, stepping into my home where there was no-one to greet me, no-one to share my day with, and no-one to eat my supper with. I used to wish that I could just fold myself up and put myself away on a shelf until it was time to go to work again. I too began to think I would never meet the right man for me, and really was getting tired of the bar scene where most of the singles my age hung out, and being "fixed up" by friends. My friends were very important to me, and at least I had them who I could call up and ask over to supper or to tag along to a movie with me.

I was pleasantly surprised when at 26 I met Bill. I had given up hope of finding someone I could share my life with. I didn't think when I met him that we would have a future. I rented a room out to another single woman, Chrissie. I was dating Dave (shortlived, mismatch of the century) and Chrissie was going out with Bill. Bill and I just celebrated our twentieth wedding anniversary. We became friends first, and then after we respectively broke up with Dave and Chrissie, and a few months later we started seeing each other. Chrissie was unhappy, but I knew that Bill could be the love of my life and I was not about to pass up that chance for anything. Chrissie came around and was my maid of honour at our wedding.

You never know when you will meet that person. It is usually when you are not looking that you find him or her.

There is someone for everyone, of that I am sure. I can't believe some of the scumbags I see in prison who find a woman. One man killed his last wife, and even he has found a second wife!! She must be a brave woman. I think that would scare me off more than AS. I have seen abusive men, junkies, sex offenders, schizophrenics, psychotics, psychopaths, men with criminal histories as long as your arm and a string of ex's and children trailing behind them who manage to find someone.

Despite your AS you will find someone. That someone will see past the AS to the wonderful man you are. From your photo I would say that you are pretty good looking too, if you don't mind me saying so. I'll bet that your future someone is probably feeling the same despair that you are right now, wondering if she'll ever find you.

Have faith, little brother. She will find you when you are least expecting it.

Val.

Hey Linc,

Wanna have some fun? Spend a few minutes...hours...checking out the canes on the net. I found some really nice ones but the cost is a bit high...fun to look at though. I bought one on special for $15 so you can get one that doesn't look like you got it in the super market and not pay a huge price for it. I also have a walking stick which which makes people think I'm a healthy hiker instead of a hurtin' fool who should have stayed home!



Pete

"Maybe the problems of two people don't amount to a hill of beans. But this is our hill. And these are our beans!"
- Lt. Frank Drebin

Dude, didn't Bogie talk about a hill of beans in Casablanca?? something about two people's plights not amounting to a hill of beans....someone correct me...it's a favorite of mine but my brain is misfiring... but I think their hill of beans did mean something, and that was the point of the movie.....

I will look online for canes, to check them out...I'm up on the hiking sticks that are all high tech and collapsable....my dad uses one when he goes birding....brings back reminders of me camping and carving my own walking stick from a branch...

Peace
Linc

Linc O'Brien

What I said to Johnny goes for you too Linc!

Sheesh, if I were not married I think I'd chase both of you around the room! The question is who moves faster? My version of chasing would be a quick shuffle step and maybe I would be able to hook you with my cane! Yes, I use a cane, and it was a blow to my pride. Now I am used to it and it just feels like part of me.

I'm glad my dear "old Bill" doesn't come here! I don't know what he would say to me threatening to chase you single guys around the room!

Val.