Dear Wind_rider,
I agree with you on all counts. Maybe next to depression, the label should warn against extreme mood swings. Insane moodiness!
I spent a lot of time and energy last year preparing myself for this relapse as I was coming off Humira (hypnosis, meditation, all kinds of mental training) so that IF I would ever be in serious long-term pain again, I would know better how to take it well.
Well, after six years of reprieve, I guess I should be able to tackle three months of pain with a positive spirit, especially considering I am now armed with NSD and in the process of healing. I do think I am. Many days I am. And then many days I am not. There is definitely a fear factor. The fear of this being just the beginning of endless pain as I knew it.
As of late I have become more relaxed about this whole process. Being scared of not being able to rid myself of this pain and frantic about making the NSD work (work, work!!!!) is not helping me, I know. NSAID-induced or not, yes, I agree, fear, anxiety, fatigue and depression are just as real as causes or enhancers of pain.
I NEED fruit, I want fruit!!! But I cannot explain why the Cipro suddenly stopped working on day 5. I have done a few fruitless days now and the once-a-day-itching has stopped (or am I going crazy?).
Thinking in terms of balance, I never was balanced about fruit. If it is possible I would surely characterize as someone who over-indulged in fruit. Maybe being less fruity/one daily serving is better, more balanced at this point until I figure out how to make my next move.
And now it rains again in Ramallah!
N
