Alan,
I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. Although I haven't been around these last few days, I was fairly certain that Pual had passed. Just a feeling I guess. I'm sorry that we didn't get a chance to meet up, and that I couldn't give you all these real hugs on behalf of all of those who love you here at KA, but I say I've been swamped would be an understatement. I do look forward to meeting up some day.
Something I've often heard said, and have further learned from my own experiences is there's no 'right' way to grieve. We all do it differently, in our own time. And grieving doesn't end with the memorial service, so don't let anyone make you think you should 'be over it' any time before you're ready. Dealing with grief can be a life-long process for some and take years for many.
Comfort comes to us in mysterious ways sometimes, and spending a lot of money is not an uncommon source of comfort in these difficult times. In all the work I've done it palliative care (and again with my own personal and family experiences), it's not uncommon for people to make big new purchases at times like these. When Devon died, his parents changed their car.
Just wanted to say that even though I haven't been around these last few days, you've been on my mind often. I've had to force myself to stop working and go for bathroom breaks this week. Next week I'm working up to making sure I eat from time to time. Ah, the wonderful early days of junior doctorship.
All our love and most comforting thoughts to you and yours.
Jeanna (& Loz)
