Oak,
I don't know you as well as everyone else, but I do know this. I was at the exact spot 2 years ago, that you are now. I lost my husband, home, income and independence. But through faith I persevered and I believe that I am a better and stronger person than I was before. Some days suck, but I found positive and upbuilding people and I surrounded myself with them. I also found strength through God and it doesn't get any better than that. I know that you will find a way to work through this and you will be a better man for fighting the fine fight.
Don't give up hope,
loriann
