Hello new friends!
A couple of days ago, I posted looking for others who have had gallbladder problems and/or have had surgery while taking an immuno suppresant (I take Humira after Enbrel didn't work for me). A couple people here asked me to keep everyone updated, so here goes.
I saw the surgeon yesterday, and he wants to schedule me for some sort of a specialized MRI, where they will inject a radioactive dye or something in me to see how the gallbladder and biliary duct (syphincter
)are functioning. He "fears" that what I have is fairly rare (why not?! Everything else I have had is!) and that I will have to go to a larger city with a University Medical Center to take care of this. When the nurse took my vitals, my temp was 101, which of course alarmed me a little since I take the Humira (just had a shot the day before) and I have been nauseous with a lot of pain and a tight or swollen feeling in my right side, where the liver and gallbladder are.
I have to say, I really don't want to do this!!! The AS, fibromyalgia, spinal stenosis and disc problems are enough!!! I am still doing everything my family expects...laundry, cooking, baking, cleaning, etc. even though I am supposed to be on bed rest (but we all know that isn't possible with the AS). I am frustrated, exhausted and sick of feeling sick! My family (husband mostly, and one son who is 19 & works full time and goes to college too with a full social life) doesn't help me out, but I think I am going to have to MAKE myself stop doing everything for everybody and let them take care of their dam selves! But I love taking care of and spoiling the ones I love...and I feel guilty if I don't do everything for them. I have to say, my husband gets attitude (rolls eyes and sighs) if I ask him to anything for me, even get me some water to drink when I HAVE to lay down for a bit...I haven't slept through the night in weeks and last night I was sleeping really good for once, and he woke me up by rapping me on the ribcage because I was snoring. Most nights I leave the bedroom and go to the couch because of HIS snoring (mostly due to alcohol) but he roughly wakes me if I start snoring (I don't drink alcohol; if I snore it's because I am exhausted). I feel like everything I do for him is never enough, and now he won't let me sleep either. He constantly needs my attention (like a little kid if I am on the phone)doesn't clean up his own messes, and generally makes my life more difficult than it already is. Yes, I have talked to him about it. After he gets over being mad because I am "bitching", he changes for the better for a couple days or hours but it always comes back to him, him, HIM. I am disabled and can't work (for pay
) so he is the sole breadwinner now. I also do all the household finances and am having a really hard time making it on just his salary...but we keep having problems with the bank because he just refuses to enter his own spending/receipts in the checkbook ledger! So I never know how much money we really have. That is stressful! On top of everything else...I have just about had it. I do my best to be happy with my "here & now" and am a very laid back, cheerful person but it's getting harder and harder to keep smilin' when I feel like bopping someone alongside their thick head!!! Sorry my gallbladder update turned into a real complaint (for lack of the word that is meant) session, I guess I just needed to go off and be heard. I don't really have friends to talk to where I live, as we are fairly new in this little town and I don't get out a whole lot with the exception of volunteering at an outreach that assists the poor, the addicted, the sick, and people just out of prison. I haven't been well enough to even help out there in the last 3 weeks or so...and feel guilty about that too.
OK I am going to STOP...I keep going off! Thank you for "listening"...it helps to get this stuff out.
How can I make my husband (most of all) stop being so selfish and help me? I am at the end of my rope but I don't have anywhere else to go.
Jenn
