Thanks Sue, for your words of wisdom and comfort. I do want to say that I understood what Alan (I am guessing that is "ineptwill"s real name) was saying; my post regarding "I think this needs to be said" came from a week's worth of observing and experience. I get it.
I know my husband doesn't know how to handle his own feelings about not being able to "fix" me, and he says it kills him to see me in pain. But the selfishness has been since way before my illness got in my face, and I can't change him. I have a really hard time putting myself first; I was an abused child and have put myself in counseling several times to deal with the past but there are some things that just stick with me. I took my first "vacation' in years and went to visit my mom and sister in Chicago back in July. I was gone for 2 weeks, and within a day my pain level reduced by more than half! My hubby has his own demons and baggage from his past and he is pretty much emotionally retarded
I love the man, but I just can't be his mommy any more. I make full breakfasts and lunches for him every day, and do anything and everything but wipe his behind for him. My psychiatrist tells me I need to set boundaries and stick to them. I am working on it...but I just can't deal with the bad attitude or silent treatment if I am not fully accommodating all the time. That is my problem, and I know it.
Alright folks, I'm signing out for the night. Love to all.
Jenn
