this thread has become interesting to me because of the honesty and difference of thoughts. ronel, i'm glad you decided to share this story of hope. brad, i'm glad you were the first "brave" enough to admit that it just wasn't doing it for you.
i have mixed thoughts and feelings on the subject.
on the one hand, i try to be positive, do all i can to help myself, i am a fighter, lots of tenacity and perseverance, or at least i like to think that, that's the way i like to see myself. however, for me, i find what i need is to be given permission to feel all of my emotions: the negative emotions of sadness, anger, sense of loss, along with the positive emotions of happiness and hope. when i am told how to feel with pep talks of "just be happy", "just think positive thoughts", etc, instead of making me feel better, it actually makes me feel worse. maybe for some it is empowering, but it doesn't seem to work that way for me. i think the reason i respond that way is that in my family, due to "stuff" my mother went through growing up, we were taught that we must repress our negative thoughts and emotions. i find that acknowledging and accepting my emotions, all of them, to be a much healthier way for me to be, not to dwell on them, but to acknowledge and accept. through bad spells, i do tell myself "this too shall pass" and while telling myself that, i do all i can to feel better physically (all the medical stuff) and emotionally (spending time with my music, sitcoms, good movies, friends) but i guess i just don't want anyone else telling me how i should feel (don't worry ronel, you don't) and i don't want to ignore any part of me.
i don't know how i feel about positive thinking being important in being healthy, i'm still open-minded about the prospect (wouldn't it be great if it were true!), but also still skeptical at the same time (based on my own experiences). barbara ehrenreich just came out with a book with a slightly different take on the subject and is currently doing the interview circuit to promote the book. i caught one of these interviews on CNN a few weeks back. for me, her message, giving me permission to feel what i feel, the good and the bad, was the message i needed. you can catch one of these interviews on youtube, if you are curious, just search her name.
i guess in the end, we all have to find our own inspiration and own paths, so thanks ronel for sharing your and your brother's story and thanks everyone else for sharing all the different view points.
for me, i'm still sorting it all out, and probably always will be........
