Oh my gosh, John! How AMAZING to find this post tonight. I'm SO down after a horrible start to the school year. I'm a school librarian in a middle school.
Here's my rundown:
1) I worked half the summer while the teachers didn't come back until a couple days before classes started (and then I listened to them complain about having to come back...just *smile*)
2) Despite trying to do jobs that aren't even my responsibility (the tech people who never show), I'm still the brunt of teacher's fits when something isn't working. Some act like it's my fault if their keyboard/mouse/monitor/projector, etc. isn't working.
3) Admin is throwing more of their work on me, and they pull the library support person constantly. They don't understand the time it takes to do certain parts of my job (example: inventories don't do themselves). It's hard to explain that I can't do more...and I fear what will fall (instruction for students). I feel guilty if I take on tasks, and I feel guilty if I don't. It makes me angry, and then I feel bad I can't figure out how to be a superhero.
4) Budget cut in half (while expectations are twice as high for the kids to have a wide variety - and for them to be "hot off the press").
5) "Oh, you haven't read this?" Pth! Work 12 hours, and then go home and read a book a night.
6) Every time you open your email, you read about another state cutting your position. When you read your professional journals, it's all about saving your job. When you pick up magazines, you read articles like "Are Libraries Obsolete?" UGH! I want to focus on learning...NOT spending all my time trying to prove that I'm actually worth something to my school (that's so demeaning when you're working so incredibly hard for everyone).
7) Working incredibly hard, and thinking that your job has no future - and you could be out tomorrow.
8) On top of all of this, having a severe case of AS. I'm expected to run 90 miles an hour, answer everyone's problems, fix everybody's stuff, drop everything for everyone's priorities, and be an incredible teacher and performer on top of that. Meanwhile, I'm so tired and in pain that it's hard to get out of bed...my brain so foggy that I forget what I'm saying in mid-sentence...and I never go one day without my digestive system completely destroyed.
I think I've hit the wall, but I just keep throwing myself into it. There's really no other choice when you can't lose medical insurance. I'll keep working till I drop. And days like this, I'm o.k. with that happening soon.
But then there's the one kid who comes in at the end of a long day, and he says, "I really liked that book you recommended. Do you have another suggestion?" Then I think I can keep going. That's when I realize how much I love those kids. Love conquers all - helping me continue winning the fight against the bad attitude much of the above represents.
Thanks for letting me say this - I can't say it at school.
Love you guys!!
