hi seb,

see you already have a lot of good advice, so i'll just add a few things.

i understand your fear of the drugs, but i know i am often too cautious, and when i finally try something and it works, i often wonder why i was so afraid and waited so long. it is a balance between being smartly cautious and being too afraid.

when i get like that, i try to balance my fears from the negative things i hear and read, with the positive success stories i hear and read.

in the end of course it is your decision.

and i know how easy it is to say "try not to worry about the future", but again, i used to worry way too much when i was younger. and now that i am older and can look back i can say this, the things i worried about almost never came to pass and usually turned out better than i could have ever imagined. and the things that were problems, i never saw them coming. the thing i learned along the way is that we really can't predict life and worrying about the future does no good. but it sounds like you know that and can't seem to get yourself to not worry about it.

have you thought of either a good support group especially one with people your own age going through what you are going through or maybe even talking with a therapist that can help you see things in a different light. sometimes its good just to have people to talk to.

its good that you are here, but i think also having people you can talk with face to face would be a good addition.

for me, i have both this forum, which has been quite wonderful for all the obvious reasons, but i also have the support of my husband, friends, a few doctors that i can really count on. i couldn't do it with just this forum alone. for me, its important to have a variety of support.

hope you are feeling better soon.

and as mig said, don't give up on your plans and dreams. sometimes i can't do what i want when i want, but i always hold out the hope that one day i will be able to, when the time is right. or maybe do something similar to compensate. i never just put the ideas out of my mind. where there is a will, there is a way.


sue

Spondyloarthropathy, HLAB27 negative
Humira (still methylprednisone for flares, just not as often. Aleve if needed, rarely.)
LDN/zanaflex/flector patches over SI/ice
vits C, D. probiotics. hyaluronic acid. CoQ, Mg, Ca, K.
chiro
walk, bike
no dairy (casein sensitivity), limited eggs, limited yeast (bread)