Ah Lon, I'm so sorry to hear it. I can't imagine why this might have happened as I think you're a wise soul and they are lucky to have you.
You'll come up with something, my friend. I'm sure of it. Actually, I think you should write a book with all your escapades. They make us crack up and I'd be willing to bet they'd put a smile and a chuckle on others too. Think of it as semi-retirement.
You know I'm there for you. We all are.
Love and Great Big Hugs,