The reason you are confused is because it's confusing.
Although this diet has a generic name "the no starch diet", I don't think any 2 people follow exactly the same diet.
Veggies being, I think the most confusing part of the diet.
From a starch point of view, according to Carole Sinclair's : "Many green vegetables release starch when they're cooked but not when they are raw. A few vegetables do not contain starch, even when they're cooked. Cooked spinach, asparagus, fennel and mild onions seem to be reliably starch-free. Broccoli is very low in starch."
I personnally avoid raw vegetables (apart from lettuce), as it was advised by my Chinese medecine practitioner, cooked veggies are easier to digest.
I'm doing an elimination diet at the moment to find out which foods I react too, as i think that is the only way to figure out YOUR diet. And I'm reacting to stuff I never thought I would. I did react to cooked spinach which is one of the safe ones described by Carole Sinclairs. I think starch is not the only things that upset our conditions hence why some people react to different foods. So working off a list, or a sample diet won't help you. You need to eliminate foods and then reintroduce them and check for reactions. If you go off other people's experience you will fail as their needs are different to yours.
NSD can be very overwhelming at first (im a year in now), so just make it as simple as you can. The first step is finding some safe foods (even if it's litterally 2 or 3) and then you can start experimenting from there.
All the best to you.
Marion