Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Would you say anything to mean people?

Hi Everybody,
Thanks for all of your replies. They are all great replies, especially coming from all of you. As many people already know, I have trouble keeping up with replies, so I will thank you all at once. It takes a long time to post a smaller reply, and takes literally hours to make lengthy ones. It's the anxiety and everything else going on that makes it hard. It's been a busy past few days for me, so I am exhausted too.

This is all going to help me, and I am sure all of your responses will help many others to come. So then, thank you all very much.

Take care,
James.

Okay I realize many of these posts were serious and that problems like this can be particularly difficult for some people. That said, there was some HILARIOUS stuff on here. Loved the "kick in the shins" advice, with the "how did you let your head get so big" a close second.


Had an experience the other day where someone I don't know extremely well asked me what the big deal with AS was. They weren't necessarily mean, just looking for laughs at my expense in a very caustic/insensitive manner. So I asked them if they knew what arthritis was. Then Crohn's. Then a degenerative disk. Then sciatic nerve. Then cancer and chemotherapy. Think I threw in one or two more diseases, maybe MS and polio or something. Can't remember for sure. After each question I made him explain what he knew about that disease and if he began to change the subject or end the conversation I just cut him off with another question. Then I said "Well if you take all of these together and combine them into one you have something that resembles AS. If it sounds fun let me know and I'll try and get you hooked up with it yourself." My friends and I thought the whole thing was pretty funny even though he didn't. Realize it was a bit of a tall tale but i'm not too concerned about it. Still hasn't called me about giving AS a try, wonder why....

Well done Mr. Unstoppable, well done.

Brad

i guess i'd either say something like "wow, that's a pretty ignorant thing to say" and then walk away. and/or i'd just avoid that person as much as possible. if it was someone i HAD to deal with on a daily basis and they kept saying such things, i'd either ask them to stop talking to me about it completely, and if that didn't work, i'd start emailing them all the links and articles i could find on AS with comments like "here you go, FYI, as per what we were talking about yesterday". lol!!

judgmental/ignorant people suck!

Hi, Mr.BOND,

I hope you remember me, ... i hope you doing fine and how is brenda.
it always happen ppl stop me on road and ask about my problem.
some ppl are good they advice different treatment. But many of them don't want to see me outside they keep saying go and take rest at home.
But it all because of PPL are not aware of AS disease. They just think in normal way.

So we should ignore them and keep doing what we like and we can achieve.

Take good care ..

i haven't figured out what to answer people either. My 'friends' attack my faith.. a very low blow....

well, you'd get healed if only you'd ...blah..bla...blah...

or you need to have more faith & quote these scriptures and BELIEVE them!

or .. you need to be praying more....


it sucks when i have a 6 yo daughter that is sick too & possibly my 9 yo... good grief! I now avoid them until I know better what to say! We've found a house-church that is small & very supportive & a place of no condemnation. Only caring & offering of help to babysit my brood while I go to an appointment. That's what I'm going to surround myself with. That and loneliness. I make myself depressed enough, I don't need 'friends' helping me get there!! LOL! I appreciate solitide (well, solitiude with homeschooling 5 kids!)

It's bad, though, when your doc treats you bad. Time to fire him, if you can!

Hiya Trudi..
Sorry to hear about the faith remarks...praying helps me...but it's not a lack of faith that has me sick and I know the big guy carries me through when it's really rough. But sometimes our friends mean well and it just comes out so very wrong.

You know what? Sometimes I had to do that...a bit of the loneliness...not literally because i have my beautiful wee ones and my hubby that I love very much and parents. But when I am in a bad spot flare wise...I tend to keep to myself....my little cave ...just time with my kids and hubby. They understand. My friends mean well...Lordy do they mean well. They'll expect me to be moving as fast as they do or get togethers like bbq's and if I dont have art with me they say no big deal..but it is. my son is a handful and my back just cant handle it. Once I am just a wee bit better I do lunch with them again. I got tired of explaining the disease to them. Only a couple of my good friends truly understood.

Hope you are doing okay these days....buggy

James,

I haven't really had this happen to me except for the Rheumy who was treating me. He made me feel like a complete idiot. Although I was extremely angry at him, I never confronted him in person. I don't think I would argue with anyone over their personal feelings towards me either. I usually believe I'm not going to change anyones mind so why bother. Thats not to say that if they continue to pester me that I would'nt speak up.
With my Dr, I finally told the receptionist, when she called me to set up my next appointment that I wouldn't be seeing him again. When she asked me why, I told her that I didn't feel he took me serious. He actually laughed at me while I was in his office. That was the last time I was ever there.

Glenn

I am going to be mean to you if you do not stay in touch!

How is everyone over there?