Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Most lovely Christmas Present

Oh Gerri, I am so sorry this happened to you. Just remember that you always have us but I know it is not the same as your physical family. He just doesn't have a clue. I have had similar things said to me by members of my family; not quite as drastic but things like "Every one hurts. Just not every one complains" "I know lots of people with the diseases you have and they still work." I just figure that what goes around comes around.

I am really sorry. I am sending you soft hugs. I will be thinking of you.

I understand with my kids when they are around that I am so glad to see them that I really am pretty much my normal self wanting it to all be normal and then after that I crater. They just don't see the end result. They are very understanding though. It is other family that isn't.

Hugs and Blessings and a much better New Year.
Possi

I can tell you one reason you're here.... to help me when I need you, which I've needed a lot lately. You're always there.

Just think, if we weren't going through what we go through, we might be just like these people and wouldn't that be a shame? I think this makes us humble and caring people. We recognize that other's might not always be what they seem, and when we see someone else in some form of distress, we're quick to respond.

Well if having a wee drink of Bailey's means you're "faking" it and that there is nothing wrong with you, I must really be faking it! (I had two, which I shouldn't have had).

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this Gerri. I don't think it is something that you will understand unless he explains his thoughts a bit better, but don't see how he can since it just does not make sense. People in general don't understand the pain that we face with A.S. and you have other health issues on top of that to deal with. We all know what you are going through and know that you are not faking it, I hope that gives you some comfort.

All the best,
Ruby7

Geri,
I just got home right now from running some grocery emergency errands..and read your post...I am so so sorry to hear this. I dont know why your son said what he said or what compelled him to say something that would wound you so deeply but all I can say is that your family here at KA LOVES you and NEEDS you!!! You are here for a reason. You are much loved by us here and even if your loved ones are being on the insensitive side...please hang in there. You have been through so much yet are always here for us. you have helped me so many times and calmed me down when I was scared last year from the asthma and lung disease. i thought I was at a dark moment and your words pulled me through. You are a special lady. dont you dare EVER forget that. I cherish our friendship. It hurts me to hear you hurting. Pm if you are up to it. I just got your pm. Maybe I can get your phone number?

Tomorrow will hopefully be a tad bit better...I will keep you in my in my thoughts and most of all in my heart Geri. Please dont let it kick you down. Love always buggy

Gerri,

I am so sorry. I have had family members do some pretty awful things. Some wonderful advice that was given to me really has helped. I have to remind myself of it at times, but it has helped. Bless them and let them go. Hopefully someday they will come to understand the things you have to go through everyday. But if they dont, you have to move on and live for you. You have so much to offer this world. The support and caring you give so freely to others here is wonderful. You do have this KickAS family behind you all the way.

Of course... my first thought when I read your post was... AS is hereditary Maybe he WILL get a chance to know what you go through. Of course then I have to ask for forgiveness for that thought..


Pam

Gerri,
Huge hugs to you this morning. Remind both of your sons that the golden rule would be appropriate especially considering that they have both inherited your entire genetic 'treasure chest'.
Maybe these two thoughts will congeal and something compassionate will dawn on them! We can always hope, can't we?
I think I can speak for all of us here when I say 'We love you'.
P.S. I make a wicked good white russian... with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top!
Have a good day... Thinking of you.
Russell

Hi Pam thanks for being there for me.

I am still here, but quick to tears. My son apologized profusely, especially after hubby came over to pick up my stuff.

My son can't understand how my hubby and I are separated and still be married. Well the government were kind enough to declare us separated, because we don't live together and haven't for over a year. I am only at his home because I have no where else to go. My son's was going away for New Years I didn't want to be by myself. So I sleep on the floor on a mattress in spare bedroom, not in the same bed as hubby. So this morning I woke up with such pain. I crawled out of bed, on my hands and knees couldn't get off the mattress. My CPAP stopped working in the one plug during the night about 1am. I had to try and figure out why it wasn't working. I moved it to another area, and finished my sleep, until dear hubby came in woke me up, not realizing I was up most the night. (lol) He was use to my 5 am get up time.

"AS is hereditary Maybe he WILL get a chance to know what you go through."

My son has had pain from his back since he was sixteen. He had/has people walk on his back, because he figured that helps. He complains daily of pain in his hips. I am HLA B27 positive. I would say he is already showing signs. He says there are others older, who are in more pain than I am. There are very few who have the ongoing pain I have, and can't ever have medication. Chris will get his just rewards, and so will his brother Jason, who also has pains in back, Raynauds etc, because they both have my severe allergies. Chris couldn't understand why I worked so hard for many years. I found the work did quiet the pain.

People started complaining that I dropped things breaking them. Income tax complained I made too many errors doing our business income tax, and told me I should not have been doing because of my health issues. The government told me to apply for the Canadian Tax Credit, which the doctor is going back, until the time the government was saying I started showing problem with them, that was seven years years ago.

Even though the doctor can trace back 1987 and before. It was in 1992, when I received whiplash from a car accident, and the ongoing progress/decline of my health issues to (2000) when the government noticed, is when the doctor said he can go back to, for the tax credit.

Chris is also showing signs of Central Auditory Processing Disorder. I step back and didn't say a word. He doesn't go out. He finds it hard to communicated. He is so much like me it isn't funny. It was what he said that hurts. I know he didn't mean it. He is also scared of the upcoming liver biopsy, maybe more scared. Not to say I am not scared out of my mind.

Hugs

Gerri

Hi Russell thanks so very much for being there for me.

"especially considering that they have both inherited your entire genetic 'treasure chest". Your so right there. My sons are showing signs of AS and have shown signs since there teens. They both show signs of Central Auditory Processing Disorder, but we won't go there. Both their father and I have Sleep Apnea, so guess what, they will be using a CPAP in their future. Both my son's refuse to believe that they have sleep apnea. Jason has already been told he has Sleep Apnea, but doesn't want to do anything about it until it gets in Severe range like I did. That is his problem.

"Maybe these two thoughts will congeal and something compassionate will dawn on them!" They don't want to believe, and they are scared of what the upcoming liver biopsy is going to show. Until they seen my health decline, we were always very close. I am hoping they will come around because I need them in my life.

Chris, did apologized profusely. He knew I was extremely upset, I didn't talk with him for 4 hours. I also promised when I became depressed I would not make a scene in front of my granddauther. I was too upset, there was no way I would let her see me that way.

I so appreciate all the love I am receiving from everyone here. Just typing back is helping me.

"I think I can speak for all of us here when I say 'We love you'."

P.S. "I make a wicked good white russian... with a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top!" It sounds so good, but all I allowed myself was the one drink. I already knew my liver enzymes would be sky high with the antibiotic.

Hugs

Gerri

Thanks Ruby for being there for me.

Maybe it's the upcoming liver biopsy that scaring them, because it really is scaring me. Jason was with me when the doctor said that because my liver enzymes have been up for years that there is definitely something going on. He heard the doctor say this. I just don't understand why he said to Chris that they don't believe there is anything wrong with me.

Chris did apologize profusely. Chris was always the one picking me up when I fell when he was younger. I was always falling, still no answers for that. He forgets, and I never complained of the pain then I was in.

Hugs

Gerri

Possi, my dear friend, you truly know how I feel.

"I understand with my kids when they are around that I am so glad to see them that I really am pretty much my normal self wanting it to all be normal and then after that I crater." I being fighting pain and depression this last month without any medication. I was hoping no one would say anything to set me off. I was just so happy that Chris was having me over for Christmas, because otherwise I was going to be by myself. They didn't know each time I picked up Emily, the pain I was in. I prayed each time that I would not drop her because my arms give out and I don't know when it going to happen. If I had dropped her, I would not forgiven myself, but I wanted to be normal for a short period of time.

"I know lots of people with the diseases you have and they still work." Chris said this also. I don't believe he knows anyone with severe auditory processing disorder or he would not being saying this. Many times during my visit, I asked him to repeat what he said. Having him say what he said, with him speaking directly to me, was the only time I didn't need him to repeat, because I could read his lips. I shut down after that, I couldn't deal with anymore. He sent me into a severe depression, which I am still today trying to deal with.

Chris, apologized profusely, he knew he had hurt me badly. He knows my health issues are bad. Maybe he is just as scared as I am about the upcoming liver biopsy (January 2nd). Jason was there when the doctor said there was something going on. I don't know how they could ever say there was nothing wrong with me, that I am playing acting to get attention.

Chris as a small child, would pick me off the ground after, I had fallen again. (still no answers for this ohter than my Urologist says I have MS.)

Hugs and Blessing back and hoping you have the best New Year

Gerri