Kickas.org Forums Ankylosing Spondylitis General Discussion #1 AS Web Support Group Help

Kat - what a tragic situation, whichever way you look at it. I'm so sorry.

I'm extremely surprised he was allowed to leave the hospital after being deemed unfit. I'm assuming it's because they didn't see him as a danger to himself or anyone else at that point. However, if there's evidence that he's responsible for your sister's split lip, I wonder whether that would provide grounds for him to be picked up.

I'm sure one of the worst things for you right now is the feeling of helplessness - that you're unable to take the steps you know are necessary to keep your sister safe. I'm so glad that your nieces are close to you and you can provide them with some of the support they need.

Dear Kat - lots of love and hugs to you. I hope the situation improves over the next few days.

I wish I knew what to say. It's awful to learn that you are going through with something like this; as if spondy wasn't enough... My thoughts are with you and your family.

Hang in there,

Freddie

Oh Kat

I wish there were words to say. What a difficult situation. My thoughts will be with you and your family.

Gosh. What in the world to say? You're always so thoughtful and helpful here; you and your family deserve so much better, so much more happiness than you have right now. Try to take it one second at a time; breathe in, breathe out, repeat; look to the stars and let infinity wash over you; be at peace. It seems trite to say that things will work out, but with the amount of love your family seems to have for one another, I just know things will work out. Hang in there; we're thinking good thoughts for you.

Wow!Thankfully your sister has a great family and a strong sister to look out for her.I can't imagine how you and your Mom must feel. If there is anything we can help with please let us know.

Dan

WOW! I'm so sorry for the tragedy that is going on in your family:( Those poor girls. They are the ones being most hurt @ this time so please keep them reassured of your love and their mothers love! Stay by your sister and be strong for yourself Take care my prayers are with you and your family in this time.

Hey Kat,
It does sound like you have a very full plate to deal with. Unfortunately it sounds as if the law in Canada is similar to the US. There isn't a whole lot the police or medical can do if there isn't a complaint or crime. Being in the EMS field for years, I have seen and had to deal with these situations before, and they are not as isolated as one might think. The hardest thing now is to convince your sister that she has to get away from this guy. He has twisted his control of her to where she now believes that he knows what is best for her, not you or you rmom or anyone for that matter. Hopefully someone at the Psychiatric Facility can see through this smoke and mirrors and begin to handle this in the manner it needs to be addressed. It is really difficult for the girls, I'm sure. But keep them in the information chain as best you can.

Kat, we are all here to support you and your family, and we pray that things come to light and are resolved quickly. No family needs to go through this.

Kat,
I am so sorry to hear that. I do not have any great words of advice but will pray that things work out.

jess

Hi Gerr, I didn't see this yesterday or I would have responded. Thank you so much.

Several of you have voiced the fear that my mother, my sweetie, my stepdad and I have. We have no way of knowing exactly how this happened. Mum saw her yesterday and the doctors at the facility have said that they feel this was a spontaneous attempt - ie. there was no thought, just the desire and the action. It's possible, I suppose, especially given what they suspect is an underlying condition. Certainly, they are helping her to understand a lot of what she's experienced throughout her life, and she's happy to be where she is right now, because she recognizes she needs help. Except she's bored stupid. We're working on that. Regardless, they suspect they know what's been going on with my sister, but need to confirm their suspicions.

As for the boyfriend, she loves him so much and now credits him with saving her life. He's her "Hero". Truth be told, I'm grateful to him for making the call. I will never take that away from him. They explain away the EMS personnel incident as they didn't hear the door for a few minutes and then he was trying to run down the stairs while they were trying to run up and since the stairs are narrow, he couldn't get out of the way. It could have happened that way. I'm in the process of trying to get the official reports. The police report won't help much, as he's convinced her they're lying. Not mistaken, lying. Two weeks ago, she recognized this as part of his paranoid delusions. The EMS report, I'm hoping, will answer a lot of questions. My sister wants to get her hands on the 911 recording, to prove to everyone how upset her boyfriend was when he called. Again, it's possible. There's no doubt he loves my sister. But until we find proof of what happened either way, the doubts will sit in our minds and hearts. If he's still around longterm after this, that could cause problems, so I really need to get this info.

My youngest niece has told her mother that if the boyfriend were in treatment and taking his medications, she would have no trouble having him live with them. Until then, she wants him gone. My oldest niece isn't talking. Mum's looking into counselling for them. They saw my sister yesterday and are going again tomorrow. Mum says she's positive in attitude, which is a good thing. She's also looking for phone calls, so I'm calling today. I'm not going to push the boyfriend issue. She needs to believe in him right now. That may or may not change later, but right now he's important and I don't want to jeopardize any improvement by trying to argue with her about it. Mum feels the same way about it.

Anyway, things are more positive today. This is good.

Warm hugs,

Thank you so much, Kurumi.

Warm hugs,