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Oct 6th, 2025
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Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 128
Journeyman_AS_Kicker
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Journeyman_AS_Kicker
Joined: Jul 2011
Posts: 128 |
I'm glad you felt able to post here about how you're feeling. I agree with the previous posters. I also want to tell you that I understand where you are coming from. I've felt very low at times, especially the last couple of days since my doctor suggested I have fibromyalgia rather than AS and I started to think the diet woon't work in the long term, oh no, and imagining the rest of my life being in pain and feeling useless! Of course I am not useless, even if I become totally disabled I can still be with, listen to and talk with, and love my family, even if I couldn't clean the house or hold down a job etc.
How about coming over to somewhere where lots of people are following a similar diet for various health and fitness reasons? You might feel less restricted and alone with the diet and you can get recipe ideas and another lot of support with the food. I'd suggest Mark's Daily Apple, where I hang out when I'm not here. Well, just an idea.
Symptomatic since 1996
Gluten free since 2008
Paleo since 2010
NSD since 2011
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,334
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Joined: Jul 2001
Posts: 3,334 |
There seems to be some great advances in AS research so I can see some light at the end of this tunnel. Perhaps individualized genetic therapy? Lots of smart people around the world are working on a breakthrough so I'm quite optimistic..
Timo 
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,552 Likes: 10
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 9,552 Likes: 10 |
Hello Infammator,
I have been were you are at... never would have thought I would ever have gotten to that point, but I did.
I had to get help and check in at hospital. I was in lock down for several days and got medication for the depression. Much like you I hung on for religious and family reasons.
Thankfully I found answers for my personal AS and doing much better and never have returned to that dark time.
Pray you can find answers and help as well. If you need, continue to post here... through the years have seen many posting similar to you. Life is not always easy, we need to take one day at a time.
Take care,
Tim
AS may win some battles, but I will win the war.
KONK - Keep ON Kicking
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Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,191
Steel_AS_Kicker
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Steel_AS_Kicker
Joined: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,191 |
I'm glad you told us what you are feeling. Many here probably have had similar thoughts. I know when I was watching a Mercola video for RA a few weeks ago, he touched on this topic breifly due to the chronic pain arthritics expereince.
My life has been so painful the last 2 years and I still can't believe it somedays. I feel so foolish for taking my health for granted, I remember when I was completely healthy and I would complain about the stupidest things to myself. I can't believe how good I had it. I try to avoid complaing now and I try to be grateful even when I don't feel like being grateful.
The NSD has helped me, but sometimes I cheat and I surely pay for it.
One thing that has helped me the most is my love of God. For me suffering is redemptive, by that I can offer it up and help someone else. It does not go to waste, unless I let it. It may sound weird, but I feel like I had to share. So my pain I feel from the arthritis I give it to God and ask that he help someone with it, like a gift attached to a prayer. I like a website called catholicscomehome.org, my faith in God is the only thing getting me through this hard time.
You are very special &
You are in my thoughts and prayers,
Sheri
Diet change has improved my RA. I feel best eating raw veggies and some fruits and avoiding grains, sugars, nightshades, beans and dairy. Sed rate dropped from 65 to 19, but it took over a year. www.fatsickandnearlydead.com excess fat/oils = pain for me recipes for raw food on Youtube "raw food romance" and "healing josephine" Josephine is in remission from RA after two years by change diet/exercise
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 774 Likes: 1
Magical_AS_Kicker
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Magical_AS_Kicker
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 774 Likes: 1 |
i dont know what age you are i am gonna guess ...young(ish)
the awful morning pains will subside after a while ( a few years) and who knows you may go into remission,i did,for many many years.....it came back when i got "lazy" in my 50s but you cannot map out the future in your head.life does not unfold as you may imagine it.it saddens me to read your story.keep your head up and soldier on.there are an awful lot of people in this world with more severe problems than you and i.take your inspiration from them if you can and no more silly thoughts.
don't put all your faith in diets and NSD,instead focus your efforts in EXERCISE.....4 min miles are not necessary
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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 774 Likes: 1
Magical_AS_Kicker
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Magical_AS_Kicker
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 774 Likes: 1 |
Let me point out a few things: You say you were horrified the first time you read about this disease. No disease works that way. How can you be sure YOU wont have success with meds and be able to go into permanent remission more or less, or that the progression of the disease in you in the 50-year term wont be mild? -Complex hhuman nature means noone gets it the same. Why wouldnt it be YOU that experiences the medical breakthrough that cures it? -Its going to happend to someone, your odds are as good as anyone elses. Even the hope of that is worth sticking it out for. I'll be brutally honest here, because I think your question demands it. It's absolutely a valid question, but one that demands honest answers. Ending it the way you talk about, is not taking control, because you wont be here afterwards. There wont be nothing or noone left to enjoy the the satisfaction of control. At best it will give you a few minutes of peace before it happends, but you have to put that up against this: Can you not see yourself having more than a few minutes of peace, joy, happiness, laughter, friends or love for the whole rest of a natural life? Even if the answer would be yes, whats troubling you right now, is depression. It's not the pain talking right now. It's depression. Perhaps brought on by the pain, but every depression turns in the end. Wich means you WILL feel better again. Ending it, would mean you would not. Your friends....they would not understand. Trust me. They would not understand and it would mark them and their thoughts for years and years. I've been there, too many times. It would only bring them grief and sadness. You are not terminally ill with cancer afterall. Am I being harsh? I almost hope so. When it comes to ending yourself as you put it...its not a problemsolver, or a way out. It's just end. Don't you dare consider it as long as there is a chance of a single good day or hour left of your life. You would be tossing away something as perfect as happiness. Leave it to God to decide when it's time to go imho. That said, I am not chastising you for making this post, it's legitimate and probably needed. I'm just going full frontal attack on that as a plan for your happiness  Oh, and I may not be the worst hit rheumy patient, but I know a depression when I see one. As hard as it may seem right now, seek help and stay in there for the duration. I g u a r a n t e e you will look brighter on things after this. Thats is the nature of depressions, they come and go. Love gilth great stuff...just read this to the wife
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 12,465
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 12,465 |
Hi Dan,
It sounds like you are having a rough time right now. I know you have spoken before of having some pain free days and being able to exercise etc., and I can't recall at the moment if you were given an AS diagnosis yet... but I think it is a real mistake to assume that things will not improve or that you and your rheumatologist won't be able to find a way to treat your condition effectively.
Right now, it sounds like depression is the problem that is the greatest concern to your health, far more so than AS.
As wonderful as the support at KA is, I encourage you to seek out professional care for help in treating your symptoms of depression. You should not have to feel this way and things can get better.
Take good care,
mig
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Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 156 Likes: 1
First_Degree_AS_Kicker
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OP
First_Degree_AS_Kicker
Joined: Jun 2011
Posts: 156 Likes: 1 |
Thanks for the posts everyone. It means a lot to me. I still haven't gotten around to talking to my friends yet but I will as soon as possible. I ran a few miles after work and as a result was mostly pain free the rest of the evening. Funny how that works considering this morning SUCKED! I'll be back to diet too as I can't really keep denying what worked so well for me. I'll just try to keep my carbs up this time. Yes I suppose if not for AS I would have probably found something else to be depressed about, so its time I deal with that issue as well.
Thanks again everyone!
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Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 256
Third_Degree_AS_Kicker
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Third_Degree_AS_Kicker
Joined: Nov 2011
Posts: 256 |
Sounds like you feel better already, I'm very relieved. Still would like you to be vigilant against depression. Have people you can talk to, and remember that getting up and active, even when it hurts, really helps lift that fog. I've been advised to get up and get dressed, even if I'm not going anywhere. It actually helps. I've also read the posts of many inspirational folks around here, who have managed to make diet and fitness a passion. I hope you can also find the hope there, and the knowledge that you can manage your AS, and still achieve all of your hopes and dreams. All of them. You stick around, you'll see.
Iritis first diagnosed in 1991, presently recurrent and steroid resistant.
Tested HLA B27 positive in 1996.
AS diagnosed October of 2011.
Putting most of my eggs in the NSD and exercise basket, using only TENS, massage, heat and ice, and NSAIDS (sparingly) for pain. Drops for iritis as flare necessitates. Looking back I feel I would have been diagnosed with AS years ago, if I had found a rheumy earlier than 2011.
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Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 526
Veteran_AS_Kicker
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Veteran_AS_Kicker
Joined: Sep 2011
Posts: 526 |
I agree this the others here, we kinda like you. its like 15 degrees here and we need everyones body heat to warm things back up. were counting on you!
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