Jaye,
Welcome to our family. If you spend a little time looking around on the site you'll find answers to all of your questions. I can't answer them all, but I'll take a stab at telling you a few things.
First off, Iritis is inflammation predominantly located in the iris of the eye. When you have it your eye turns red and is very light sensitive. Initial treatment of iritis which is not caused by a pathogen (virus, bacteria, mycobacteria, ureaplasma, yeast, mold or fungus) is through the use of topical corticosteroids. if adhesion is anticipated then a dilating drop is used to relax the ciliary body preventing the iris from adhering to the lens in a closed position. Iritis that is stubborn, recurrent or chronic may require systemic treatment through the use of oral steroids, or other immunomodulating drugs. Some individuals will have genetic predisposition to uveitis which is related to autoimmune disease processes. the most common of these 'genes' is the HLA B27 Haplotype which can predispose to uveitis alone or also to the Seronegative Spondyloarthropathies and the enteropathic arthropathies. examples are Ankylosing spondylitis, Reactive arthritis (Reiters syndrome), psoriatic Arthritis, irritable Bowel disease and Crohn's disease. there are other autoimmune disease processes also related to iritis/uveitis.
That will get you started on that subject. There's lots of information out there on this, but the best thing I can tell you is that if you get these symptoms, don't wait, go to your eye doctor right away!
As for the heart palpitations, I don't know that this is particularly related to either AS or Fibro. I know a lot of people who have them from time to time who don't have either of these diseases. Irregular heart beats are a pretty common thing for someone to experience. That said, if you're having them, you should see a doctor and have it checked, because is could be something that needs medical attention.
As for having your husband tested. If you want to do this, then your Rheumy would be a good person to ask. I don't know how important it is. I've never been tested for the gene, and I don't see any reason to do so, at this point. If you need it for a diagnosis to qualify for meds or disability or something, then that's one thing, but the results are not conclusive, so my feeling is, why bother?
I know it's hard some days to get out of bed and get on with your day, but try. I think it's important that we keep moving and living as normal a life as possible. A pity party once in a while is ok as long as you don't go overboard. We all have times when we're down in the dumps and feeling sorry for ourselves. Like I said, that's ok. That's where we come in. Just come here and pour your heart out and get some comfort. Then you can pick yourself up and get on with your life.
Good luck, I hope you find the information and support that you're looking for.