Hi Jaye, welcome to KA!
I'm sorry you needed to find us, but very glad you did. As you can see, the folk here are very knowledgeable. We have all asked the same types of questions as you at some point or other, and each of us has (to some degree anyway) found the answers that work for us. If not, we're still searching.
I encourage you to try the diet. Alot of people have had very good results with it. It doesn't work for everyone, but it's definitely worth a try.
Also, regardless of whether or not the diet works for you, please make exercise a key component in your treatment plan. It is the one thing that will remain beneficial no matter what you are doing or taking to bring down inflammation (ie. diet or drugs). Just remember to start where you are now. If you can only do one minute at a time (because of pain, or because of lack of exercise to this point), then do one minute, 15 times a day and build up to 15 minutes at a time. Start with stretching/flexibility. This will ensure that your joints stay mobile and will also help your tendons and ligaments (which play a part in AS). Once you can do 15 minutes of stretching in one shot, add strengthening/weight training of some kind. This will help your muscles do their job of supporting your skeletal structure. A bottle of water is a great substitute for weights. When you can do your 15 minutes each of stretching and strengthening, only then add cardio. This is because by this time you will have toned your muscles and joints to the point that they can do their jobs properly as you get your heartrate going. Cardio can be swimming, walking, whatever turns your crank. If you have difficulty with full body cardio, sitting in a chair and moving your arms like an orchestra conductor will do as a substitute until you can do full body. And, again, if you can only do one minute at a time, start there and work up. Stretching and cardio can/should be done every day, once you've worked your program up. Strengthening should be done on a rotation so that different muscle groups are worked on different days. This gives the muscles a chance to recoup.
You mention that you homeschool your kids? Perhaps you could make stretching/exercise a part of their school day. Something fun that you can all do together. And if you are having a particularly bad day, back off of it. Just do gentle stretches and breathe your way through them. You will find your own pain limitations as you go. Just listen to your body.
Any med you take is going to have side effects to some degree or other. All I can say about Enbrel and the other biologics is that they have been miracles for some of us. I started Remicade a year ago and every day I am blown away by the changes in me since starting it. Do your research, ask questions and make the right decision for you.
The doc that said AS is caused by STDs should be shot, by the way. What an idiot.
It would be weird in the extreme if your husband has AS too. I hope it isn't the case.
AS presents extremely differently in women than it does in me. It doesn't generally progress as quickly in us and we don't usually have the severe spinal curvature that men can get. Every case is different, of course, but that's the way it is generally. The latest ratio of men to women with AS has now been upped to about 3:2. Dr. Mohammed Khan (world renowned expert who has AS himself) feels that this is the actual ratio because women are so often misdiagnosed.
Unfortunately, sometimes you have to keep living your life, no matter how horrible you feel. On those days, long relaxing breaths can be a big help (so would a punching bag for that matter). Be patient with yourself and others, and just do what you can.
Hugs,
