Quote:

HI James - I am going through this now myself. My old tactic was to ignore, but it wasn't working out for me, because I would be angry inside, loose sleep, stress about it, etc. That was not good for my health.



Hi Jeanne,
Certain things in the past got to me so much that I have nightmares about it and I drift off thinking about bad things that happened to me during the daytime. It's daymares or flashbacks or something. This is how I am reminded most of the time. When people do it now (which isn't too often), it's not the same because I'm getting used to it, but it's still a frustration and builds up stress and adds little reminders. Part of me wants to go back and sit and have a chat with everyone one by one explaining how I feel now, and what I felt in the past (and present), but the other half of me knows I can't handle it because they wouldn't understand or bother trying. A few people tend to get angry with me when I want to talk about things they have said or done, so I hope it's not like that between you and your mom. The next time somebody says or does something, I'll try it your new way. Maybe a direct approach such as that will be more effective instead of waiting to talk about it later. I wonder if that would work on strangers...

Good luck to you, I hope it works and brings you and your mom closer.
Take care,
James.

HLA-B27+, JRA diagnosis in 1981, re-diagnosed as AS in 1988. Also iritis, colitis, and psoriasis. NSD + low carb helps me. My health makes it hard for me to post in a timely way.