You have been through so much. I am so sorry. Depression can be such an ugly monster. You have every reason to be depressed but please fight it. Depression does horrible things to our bodies. And we AS buddies cannot afford any other attacks on our body. Talk to your doctor about depression meds. They do not have to be taken forever. They really help get over the depression hurdle. Make a simple daily exercise routine and stick with it. This helped me so much when I was so depressed. Exercise releases hormones that help with depression. AS steals so much from us don't give it your joy too. Your Dad would want you to be happy.
I too am afraid to take biologics. Lymphoma runs in my family too. (I know they say it is not in our genes but that is bull.)
My doctor says that there is new research that suggests that the chance of increased cancer is much smaller than previously believed. He is a very old doctor and says in all the years he has been prescribing biologics not one of his patients has gotten cancer. I know that many people take these with no problems but it scares me too much. I wish I could get over my fear but not yet. Let me know what your research suggests,
I take methotrexate. It has really helped me. I still have pain every day, but it is manageable. Little side effects except it has really thinned my hair which sucks. My doctor doubles my folic acid which I hope will help with that.
Keep fighting the depression. You can move past these dark days into the light. I will pray for you.
By the way I do not know my star sign.
My new year is going well. I start back to school next week. My friends are coming and going. That is my high school friends are heading back to college out of town and my college friends are coming back. One thing AS stole from me was the ability to go away to college. I was diagnosed right before I was to leave and the depression and being overwhelmed with meds etc. caused me to choose to live at home and attend college in my home town. I regret this sometimes but as Possi says our new normal settles in and we learn to adjust. I have an awesome mom who supports me so living at home is best.
Hope tomorrow is a day of light.
