Possi, my dear friend, you truly know how I feel.
"I understand with my kids when they are around that I am so glad to see them that I really am pretty much my normal self wanting it to all be normal and then after that I crater." I being fighting pain and depression this last month without any medication. I was hoping no one would say anything to set me off. I was just so happy that Chris was having me over for Christmas, because otherwise I was going to be by myself. They didn't know each time I picked up Emily, the pain I was in. I prayed each time that I would not drop her because my arms give out and I don't know when it going to happen. If I had dropped her, I would not forgiven myself, but I wanted to be normal for a short period of time.
"I know lots of people with the diseases you have and they still work." Chris said this also. I don't believe he knows anyone with severe auditory processing disorder or he would not being saying this. Many times during my visit, I asked him to repeat what he said. Having him say what he said, with him speaking directly to me, was the only time I didn't need him to repeat, because I could read his lips. I shut down after that, I couldn't deal with anymore. He sent me into a severe depression, which I am still today trying to deal with.
Chris, apologized profusely, he knew he had hurt me badly. He knows my health issues are bad. Maybe he is just as scared as I am about the upcoming liver biopsy (January 2nd). Jason was there when the doctor said there was something going on. I don't know how they could ever say there was nothing wrong with me, that I am playing acting to get attention.
Chris as a small child, would pick me off the ground after, I had fallen again. (still no answers for this ohter than my Urologist says I have MS.)
Hugs and Blessing back and hoping you have the best New Year
Gerri
