Hi Ray,
I don't know why you weren't sure about posting that, but I'm very glad you did.
Neither do I know how many of us have held the pain at arms length for such a long time that eventually something had to give and tears began to flow.
I do know, however that we are both among that number. It's something to do with having to describe the pain which makes it the absolute focus of our attention, so no attempt to ignore it or parcel it away in a corner of your consciousness can hold firm.
Another thing I know is that we're all here for each other, and in fact that why we're here most of the time. Thanks for sharing :) I wish you and everyone suffering like you much better times ahead.
Loz
"Here comes the sun..." 
