Lon, you are a treasure. Thank you. Made me think of a fire breathing dragon. Is that what Lenny is? And you ride him to battle the foes and protect damsels in distress?
I understand what she's experiencing with the boyfriend to some extent. We've both tended to choose men who needed our care in some way or other. In this we are following a pattern that runs through the women in our family going back at least 2 generations. I know what it is to love someone dearly, someone who's toxic, but who if I'm good enough can be saved. The tool I have in my arsenal that my sister doesn't is the better part of 20 years of therapy of one kind or other. Mum's tried so hard to get her into therapy, since my dad left when my sister was 11 and she decided she would never cry again. Thing is, she's always been massively intelligent, presented herself calmly and well, and the first session with the therapist would end with the therapist saying she didn't need therapy at all. My mum and I, however, have unabashedly wept and railed in therapy and we've been able to come out the other side healthier. Right now, we're looking at the entire family being in therapy to deal with this. Wouldn't it be ironic if my sister was the only one who wasn't.
And she's not necessarily wrong not to trust this doctor's immediate diagnosis. However, our fear is that she will just let it go and keep living her life the way she has been. Mum and I are going to encourage her to remain in contact with the psychiatrist she consulted last week. Apparently, she liked her, and that may be the therapeutic relationship that helps my sister find out why she's crashed into massive depression at the drop of a hat for her whole life. We're hoping we can talk her into being pro-active in seeking a diagnosis, or at least coping tools to start with.
Mum has an appointment with her own psychologist next week, and she's going to see if he can help her find counsellors for both the girls. The girls are going back to school next week, so Mum has spoken to their principals, vice principals and my Elf's teacher. They've all agreed to be there for the girls if they need to talk and there's a guidance counsellor at my Kitten's school that she can go to as well.
As it stands, the boyfriend is going to be around for a while yet, until my sister can see as clearly as she was two weeks ago about him. We're all keeping our fingers crossed on this.
Agape,
