Hi Ray........
Your post was so emotional and i know it was quite difficult for you to get the post out.....but I do know what it feels like to have to get it off your chest. I am grateful that this site is here and that you have been so wonderful to myself as welll as many others during our hard times. You are always a tough little Tonka truck......just keep on going and going......even though you have so much pain.
I admire your strength for being strong and for being human which means sometimes getting it off your chest and shedding some much needed tears. I know there have been many times in the past in chat that you have patiently listened to my complaints!
I broke down in tears at my last Rheumy visit. All it took was for him to ask me how things were going.....and I just cracked like the mighty boiled egg!!
I could not hold the pain anymore. My brain wanted to rant out "Bad PAIN, real BAD pain" but I could not get the words to come out........all that came out were streams of tears. My heart ached and there was a huge lump in my throat. I could not contain myself because my mind just raced over and over "It hurts, it hurts real bad, and I want it to STOP for once, just once slow down enough for me to enjoy a day the way I had before this disease came into my life"
I try to be tough many times.....but I know sometimes that I need to get it off my chest....and I start to tear up and Art helps me get it off my chest. I know that with AS pain free days are few and far between....but as your friend I pray that you have a few painless days and I keep you in my thoughts and hope for the very best for you my dear friend. I hope that you get to feeling a little better soon. Whenever you see a little ladybug zipping around .......remember it's me coming to keep an eye on you !
Hugs from the Ladybug
Toodles!
Angie
