What Possi said is perfect. You need to get to the bottom of what you really want and see if you can make it happen. If you want to work---that's WANT to work, then give it a try. If you are just thinking you SHOULD work, well, time to find out why you thing you should be doing it. Either way, search your heart and see what you find.
You sound more in tune with yourself these days. You were in a dark place when you joined us here. It's good to see you come out of that dark place.
Possi is also right when she says you didn't fail. You DIDN'T fail. The desire to work/accomplish things/etc was there, but your body isn't able to do all that.
Time to re-frame your thoughts, Elmerfudd. None of us can tell you what to do. You could maybe do a little part time and see how it goes? If not, take the early retirement and find somewhere to volunteer a couple days a month. (Now I'll read the rest of the posts and see what I've missed)
(Personally, I plan to work full time till I can't. I could probably do my job part time for a little longer, then take retirement. Or I might end up having to quit before then. I'm 57, so a few years to go. Spouse is 60 and trying to decide if he wants to take benefits at 62 or wait till he could get more money. Think it's going to be 62.)
